Sex, Horny, Awkward and Keys: Striking out - FML

Striking out

By Anonymous - 13/03/2022 00:01

Spicy

Today, I met a woman at a bar, and we went back to my place with her whispering many filthy things in my ear. Then my key broke inside the lock. It was 2 a.m. and freezing, and she was in a dress, I suggested a hotel, but she was now so cold and angry, she got back in our Uber which hadn't left yet and went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 328

Sex Horny Awkward Keys

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Top comments

xxWTFxx1981 23

Sunday 13 March 2022 2:43

That's when you break a window bro... I know 3 ways to break into my own house if ever the need...

jkjorn 15

Monday 14 March 2022 14:23

Sorry, you got lock-blocked bro!

Comments

xxWTFxx1981 23

Sunday 13 March 2022 2:43

That's when you break a window bro... I know 3 ways to break into my own house if ever the need...

jkjorn 15

Monday 14 March 2022 14:23

Sorry, you got lock-blocked bro!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 19 March 2022 4:07

You, sir, have been LOCK blocked.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Kids Parents Books Weird Religion Cops YouTube Pranks Annoying Health Love Bodyshaming Dad jokes Relatable My ex Sex Allergies Depression Awkward Housework Flowers Intimacy Alcohol Work Cheating Painful Accident Sleep Exhausted

The Top

Aujourd'hui, et depuis plusieurs jours, j'ai la grippe, avec des fortes fièvres a parfois 41°C. On a trouvé le moyen de me dire : "Oh ca va t'as juste le nez qui coule, abuses pas, toujours a te plaindre !" après avoir juste répondu à un SMS me demandant de mes nouvelles. VDM

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Aujourd'hui, un chauffagiste vient faire des travaux chez nous alors que je suis seule. Il m'a parlé pendant des dizaines de minutes de sa vie, et du fait que sa femme et lui n'avaient plus de rapports sexuels depuis des années. VDM

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Today, I accidentally bought an audio book through iBooks for $40 AUD. I'm deaf. FML

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Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 423

You deserved it 3 508

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 675

You deserved it 19 173

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Today, my sister and I got stuck in an airport elevator. We were separated from our friends, missed our flight and had to walk two hours to find our gate. On the bright side, we ended up having a pleasant talk with an Air Marshal on why we were "stalking people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 492

You deserved it 2 872