Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML
Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
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Top comments
Pb_lily 0
I don't know any 18 year old hot girls that would flash the loser holding a sign.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Should wear a t-shirt saying "NO FAT CHICKS."
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Comments (156)
canucksrule88 0
if u wanted to see **** just go look at some **** jeez some guys are a disgrace to our gender
sc27 0
@90 Real **** are better than ones you see on the computer... Unless they were from a fat chick.
canucksrule88 0
but looking no touching....doesnt make as much of a diff if its say a video or real life in fact videos could be better since they can be HD and feature pause and rewind
plexico 3
How am I supposed to motorboat my LCD monitor?
Intoxicunt 5
>__< Ick. Motorboat, FTL.
canucksrule88 0
LOL no but im saying in this case, he only wanted to look...therefore percentage of possibility of motorboating was 0, and therefore **** would be better in this scenario :)
missruutu 0
..So Shallow
roxy_rescue 0
LMAO i'm sorry
anonacs 0
if she was fat they were probaly pretty big
yisrab 0
Oi!!
CFR 0
Who the **** would flash a sign spinner? WHY the **** would you do that? I bet your buddies were lying, they got flashed by old ladies too, they just didn't want to admit it.
kaitlynadele 0
How the hell do you know she was 45? You're making stuff up.
followmeimfamous 0
I WANNA BE A SIGN SPINNER NOW!...... other than the 40 year old lady
Crazy_Cookie 4
how do you know she was exactly 45 and 300lbs?
JUDASKISS23 0
exactly what i was going to ask.
Pandasaur 0
Probably just guessing to give everyone a better (unwanted) mental image.
CFR 0
Do your **** hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? do dooo dooo.... I forget the rest of the words to that xP
Hydra_fml 0
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do your **** hang lo-o-ow?
CFR 0
ahahaha that's it =P