Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML
Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
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Top comments
Pb_lily 0
I don't know any 18 year old hot girls that would flash the loser holding a sign.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Should wear a t-shirt saying "NO FAT CHICKS."
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Comments (156)
MugenFML 0
Jesus H. Chocolate Poopsicle Christ I am so tired of these lame ass FMLs. People, even if you gotta LIE, please cum up with better shit than "Omgz lik Im so phukked tis fatty flashded me n it was teh mos gheyest thing ever! soo HxC!!"
FML_like_a_boss 0
wow FYL and LOL at 20, 35, and 76
Subliminalsounds 0
What does YDI mean first of all. And second, I think your life sucked at that moment, that would be so NASTY!!! Nobody wants to see some fat chicks boobs. EW.
l33tm0nk3y 0
$5 says your colleagues' stories are all based on experiences not unlike yours, but they just changed them to make it a more interesting story. Cuz I mean, nobody wants to hear about being flashed by an old fatty, but being flashed by a hot babe? That's a story!
phiniusmaster 0
You think maybe 18 year old hot chick maybe actually code for 45 year old fat woman? Just sayin' ...
9az00 0
a 45 year old 300 pound woman is the same as 2 22 1/2 year old 150 pound girls. just tell your coworkers that.
fozznaut 0
Im the author of the fml. A sign spinner is someone who does a couple tricks with a sign to attract the drivers attention so they will read the advertisement. Look us mgm sign spinning on youtube to get an idea. There are only 2 sign spinning companies that exist, so it makes sense that many of you don't know what one is. For all you idiots out there, obviously i got the job as a spinner because i wanted to get flashed by girls...Its a good weekend job that actually pays 12 an hour which is better than many of you that probably feel sorry for us. The fact that its unfortunate is because no one wants to get flashed by an old fat chick and the 18 yr old girl is used as a true comparison.
shitbitch_fml 0
How did you kno she was 45? You obviously took her out on a date. Maybe you should lose some weight yourself if your attracting fatties.
the_lololagist 11
...there are people dying of AIDS in Africa, and you're saying FML about THAT?
twitchy315 0
...yea.. there r ppl dieing in africa in aids and what r u doing about it... complaining on a website that wont help... *claps* nice job smart 1
Sallow 0
That's unbelievable! That's so unsafe, people shouldn't be driving and flashing at the same time.