Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML
Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
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Top comments
Pb_lily 0
I don't know any 18 year old hot girls that would flash the loser holding a sign.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Should wear a t-shirt saying "NO FAT CHICKS."
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Comments (156)
jaredletolover 0
urgh, you're disgusting.
gummibehrs 4
I'm thinking the OP is just upset because it was probably the first pair of ******* he's ever seen.
Brak_Spaceman 19
I came.
22jrdn55 15
congrats!!!
barlessprison 16
Problem can be easily solved by getting laid, or being patient. I'm sure some titty flashing chick's gonna pass you eventually. & please also be thankful it wasn't some old guy flashing you his moobs.
jonny2x4 0
This isn't an FML. This is a WINWINWIN! So..... did you get a chub out of it?
chaosmint 0
I thought I told my mom to stay home!
22jrdn55 15
why is she wondering around then?
Kylias 6
I thought I told you to lock her cage!
shadowryder 0
At least you got to see something. You ungrateful perverted bastard..
pifpafpoef 1
i'd kill for being flashed by a 45 year old woman
Walt_1990 3
"Shares"..enough said. Either way, consider the 45 year old retribution :).
visage 0
One of the lamest FML's I've had the misfortune ov reading in a long time. I hope a rabid squirrel chews your right ******** off so you know what a real FML is all about, F'n tard.....