Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML
Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
Pb_lily 0
I don't know any 18 year old hot girls that would flash the loser holding a sign.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Should wear a t-shirt saying "NO FAT CHICKS."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
greenlantern_fml 0
ugh that sucks dude. No one wants to see a fat ass chicks nasty jugs. Consider at that weight she probably had about 6 of em. sorry again dude
applegathc 0
so what, you just signed up for this job to lear at the private parts of underaged girls?? YDI you ******* low-life
Decs69 0
hey what's a sign spinner?
youEQUALtosser 0
Next time you can work as a meatspinner.
Do0dl3 0
Cool, your life is ****** because you saw *******, your officially a fag
boredboisereside_fml 0
... Who used to be a man.
drmike_fml 0
were do you work when 18 year old girls are flashing sign spinners?
DarkxRaven 0
Oh shut up rude retard
dirtyturban 0
Chubby chasers! I wanted to contribute so I can tell a joke. Why aren't there any wall marts in afghanistan? There's a target on every corner!
SoonFired 0
YDI, for living in Tennesee. The hot chick to nasty chick ratio is like 5 to 300. And I'm not even including having a full set of teeth to qualify under the hot catagory.
really_thatsucks 0
Dude, seriously? Try 1 to 60. Same thing, but makes sense.