Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, at the mall, my 4-year-old son threw up on a man's shoes. When he approached me, I immediately machine-gun mouthed him in public. The man apparently is a doctor and concernedly said that my son may have a rare gastric disease based on the puke. I got him checked, and he's right. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
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Top comments
mrmystery96 0
I say let the little bastard drink.
Jay1D 0
When someones choking you make them drink?
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Comments (267)
Danny0D 5
that's how you do it
KaptainKronicX 5
Should have played it off like he's a little person.
patshie 0
XD funny
WallyTheWombat 0
WTF are you all looking at?! He's a midget! Lets try to be more sensitive people! How would you like it if I made fun of your fat neck, HM?!
Freeze_fml 17
Drinking beer with the kids always ends well.
awesomeash6692 0
Especially in public! :D
sesamehood 0
hay he migt as well experience beer now
Captain0bv10us 0
Doesgiving people water make then stop choking? Hmm...interesting
SmittyJA24 26
my thought, exactly!! Giving a drink is not part of the Heimlich maneuver.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
did you let him finish it at least?
DrewsFML 8
Heimlich is not the name of a German stout for future reference.
IHeartJimi02 0
I was wondering why she wouldn't try the Heimlich maneuver first.
dr_random 11
I hear the Heimlich is falling out of favour as a first aid technique, apparently too many people are doing it wrong (as shown by OP).
mischabelle 6
That's true. They tend to try and push down on the ribs causing fractures and possible puncture to the lungs. Instead that should try and push under the ribs to cause the diaphragm to move up and expel the food particle. Not claiming I'm an expert but that's what I've heard.
Doortje 30
Just imagine the dirty looks you would've gotten if you'd just let him choke to death.
mischabelle 6
You can never please people. Just let them give you dirty looks. You know you did it to try and help your son. Other people can just shove those looks up their a** since they don't know the whole story.
misshighjinks 5
it's not great but you panicked so i understand
Scooter42 15
If it was american beer I don't see the problem, might as well be water. But you don't try and cran more things into the throat of someone who is choking, that's just dumb. That's like thinking adding water to a clogged toilet would help anything.