Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Bad babysitter
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, at the mall, my 4-year-old son threw up on a man's shoes. When he approached me, I immediately machine-gun mouthed him in public. The man apparently is a doctor and concernedly said that my son may have a rare gastric disease based on the puke. I got him checked, and he's right. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Choked
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
Top comments
mrmystery96 0
I say let the little bastard drink.
Jay1D 0
When someones choking you make them drink?
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Comments (267)
futboljem 1
it was either that or he died so it's ok
hateevryone 15
that's better than letting him choke to death
Randomgurl27Q 4
Moron, you never add more to the problem if they're choking. Learn CPR bad parent.
Randomgurl27Q 4
Moron, you never add more to the problem if they're choking. Learn CPR bad parent.
kidcudders8 4
accidents happen
Mistery510 6
drink while choking??? hemlic manuuuuuuver??
TheDrummingResul 0
If he was really choking you shouldn't have made him drink... you're kind of a dumbass and YOU shouldn't be on FML. I'm sorry people looked at you funny...
EZ2XLR8 7
I have an 8 year old son... giving sugar is bad enough. What kind of parent are you to grab the closest drink without checking what it is... and why would you drink beer around an 8 year old. I don't even do that. Not like it's a healthy drink anyways... way to set a bad example. Your son would be like 'yeah my mom got me drunk when I was 8'... you could have somehow been charged even if it was unintentional because the government doesn't care and wont ever... - - I understand that as a parent, you panic more, but trying to get rid of the choking by drinking is probably the worst thing you could have done. I'm a Nurse Practitioner.
Sugarboube 2
ok, "nurse practitioner" relax, i would have done the same thing. oh but i forgot! some of us don't know EVERYTHING there is to know about parenting. sorry.
EZ2XLR8 7
ok, "kittyhatpuppy" relax, do you think OP relaxed when her son was choking? I don't think so. Do you think a doctor relaxes when a patient comes in for any given reason? Never. Parenting is not a difficult thing to do, it's only difficult if you make it that way because you control yourself, not your kid whom controls themselves. I have 4 sons ages 17, 14, 12, and 8. A teenager knows nothing about parenting not matter how much they try to deny it... a young adult needs to use common sense. An older parent should have learned some tricks from watching other parents. Ya ya, ever kid and parent is different, but that doesn't change the fact of how to deal with these situations. Sorry, but common sense really isn't something that's hard to get and use... people just choose to ignore signs and not pay attention to reality and give up on education. All in all, its oneself's fault if they don't gain knowledge, despite certain reasonings. I knew this stuff in high school 35 years ago... times haven't changed that much.
geeksaresexy 18
'A teenager knows nothing about parenting not matter how much they try to deny it' Wait... YOU were a teenager when you had your first child.. So yeah.... How the hell were you in high school 35yrs ago when you're only 35 NOW!?! Also what to do when someone is choking is not common sense and never has been.. Just because you're a nurse doesn't mean you know everything about everything! I see you commenting on everything and 'proving' you point by saying 'I should know, I'm a nurse practitioner' Guess what? NO ONE GIVES A SHIT! You just make yourself look like a dick every time!
EZ2XLR8 7
I was married before I had my first kid... I was married at 17 after I graduated, had my kid 18, a legal adult. I was NOT a teenager. 35-18= 17... did you fail math?? Besides, a person looks a hell of a lot better being married first than having a kid when you're under 20. Actually when someone is choking... it is common sense have you read past comments? Go to a first aid course, they teach this stuff in high school. A Nurse Practitioner knows more than an RN and an RN knows more about than a person who isn't in the industry. I grew up in the heath industry, my grandpa is a pharmacist, my dad is an OBGYN, my mother is an RN, my brother is a doctor, my brother-in-law is a surgeon... tell me something I don't know about the heath industry. I am trained in the industry, I see it every single living day of my life, I treat choking... I studied it for weeks... don't tell a professional about what they don't know if you don't know it yourself... Nobody gives a shit about what you told me! I don't even give a shit! You're making yourself look like a dick with having no practical information to back up your response. My professor in university always said when it comes to choking, it is simply common sense because they had no training several decades ago... do yourself a HUGE favour and look it up. Also... a teenager doesn't know anything, my sons girlfriend got pregnant and it wasn't my sons baby and now she's left with nothing and can't even take care of the baby because she has no commitment with anybody... why else do teens drop out, have no self control and always fight with their so-called boyfriend/girlfriend about things that don't even matter?? Common sense my dear... you seem to be lacking it.
KattAlex 4
Um, that doesn't explain how you were in high school thirty-five years ago when you are only thirty-five now. That would mean you began high school as a newborn.
geeksaresexy 18
Yes.. 35-18 =17 which would be how old you were when you had you 18 yr old kid.. If you were 18 when you had him you'd be 36 now not 35 18+18=36.. Did YOU fail at math? Also eighTEEN is still a teenager.. Just because you're a legal 'adult' doesn't stop you being a teenager. I know plenty of 18 yr olds who are too retarded to have kids, I also know people who had kids at 16 and did perfectly fine. I have first aid training! To anyone who DOESN'T have training and has no idea what to do giving a choking victim a drink might seem like a sensible idea. You would deem it common sense because you're from a medical family!! I am well aware it's a bad idea, don't talk to me like I'm a child! Old remedies for choking include swallowing raw egg, warm lard, drinking pennyroyal tea or blowing in the persons ear.. Yeah sounds like they had back slaps and the heimlich down to an art.. So you, my dear, are full of BS. You either don't know how old you are or you don't know how old your kids are. You spout off total BS to back up irrelevant or moronic statements! You can't do simple math and you just made yourself look like an idiot.. Anything else to add?
geeksaresexy 18
Scrap that, I don't know why but I swear you said your eldest was 18 not 17.. The rest still stands though. You're still full of crap.
SanDiegoGirl111 3
Hey dummy 18 is a teenager. Look, I'll spell it for you so you know what I mean: eighteen. See the 'teen' in there? That means teenager. You may have been legal but you were still a teen. Super awesome that you studied choking for weeks. Lol!!
ideasrule 13
The fact that it's beer is the least important of my worries. The most important is: you made him drink something while he's choking??? That is NOT the proper response, and if anything, will make the choking even worse.