Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, at the mall, my 4-year-old son threw up on a man's shoes. When he approached me, I immediately machine-gun mouthed him in public. The man apparently is a doctor and concernedly said that my son may have a rare gastric disease based on the puke. I got him checked, and he's right. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
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Top comments
mrmystery96 0
I say let the little bastard drink.
Jay1D 0
When someones choking you make them drink?
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Comments (267)
whyask 0
so they didnt see him choking but yet they were able to catch you accidently giving him beer...
wilcher5 0
help I'm choking!!!
DEADLYBAKE 6
At least he didn't feel any sort of pain after that.
ramboman19 8
who f*cking cares what people think? If your kid has something stuck in his throat, then it's your job to help him, not to make yourself look good. I think OP is a great mom! I have had stuff caught in my throat before and liquid actually does help get it down. He may not have been choking, but for an 8 year old, it must have been scary!!!!
robchfra 5
You really need a first aid course.
SirObvious 1
*ugh* *Cghhh* #gulp# thanks mom!
stevenmx86 8
You were probably getting looks because your kid was choking and you were forcing him to ingest liquid...
dr_random 11
Making someone drink when they're actually choking is the worst things you can do (which I'm guessing the OP's son wasn't, seeing as he didn't end up in hospital). Learn some first aid before someone gets seriously hurt from you trying to 'save' them.
Legendslayer222 26
What you haven't considered is he might have been faking the choking, and it was just an excuse to get hammered.
Nordrvegr 3
logical breach in first aid. ydi