Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, at the mall, my 4-year-old son threw up on a man's shoes. When he approached me, I immediately machine-gun mouthed him in public. The man apparently is a doctor and concernedly said that my son may have a rare gastric disease based on the puke. I got him checked, and he's right. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
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Top comments
mrmystery96 0
I say let the little bastard drink.
Jay1D 0
When someones choking you make them drink?
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Comments (267)
jakeyjake2527 1
why would you be drinking beer in carls jr?
supermankisses 1
Dumbass.
textwork 4
that's a lucky kid
RaineLee 5
That's not a wise thing to do but I get that you panicked, so I'll say FYL.
ThisRandomChild 0
If I had a son, id rather him drink a little beer than be dead from choking.
dr_random 11
If he was actually choking, the beer would have done nothing for him, except possibly made it worse.
Matias_Says_FML 4
Well, I bet you he really enjoyed it!
daniirae 0
screw them, you did what was needed. you didn't realize. not your fault. (: fml because people judged you for reacting fast.
bad_chiquita 5
It's Heimlich, not Heineken.
j2awesome 0
ha!
small_bar_101 0
it was an honest mistake..fyl, IF you made him stop when you realized what it was.
papidrew16 0
**** it haha
TKello 6
I don't think she means that he was choking to the point of his throat being completley blocked. She probably meant he had a hard time swallowing and it was panicking, like she was. I know when I have something in my throat that is hard to swallow I drink something to ease it down....huh...sexual innuendo....