Today, I realized that I hadn't heard anything about my upcoming...

By - 18/1/2017 09:02

Today, I realized that I hadn't heard anything about my upcoming class reunion. Turns out it was an invite via Facebook that I didn't receive because most of my classmates are on my block list. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3254

You deserved it

7689

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Family values

Instadrama

Toxic parents

By Anonymous - 27/3/2012 05:52 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23540

You deserved it

10959

Favorite

By qld - 20/12/2016 10:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I got sunburnt to a crisp on the first day of my holidays away. Only 5 more days to go now, spent inside, trying not to burn more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7163

You deserved it

3502

Favorite

By Thewatcher - 22/10/2014 08:09 - Mauritius

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32804

You deserved it

3241

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/9/2018 18:30

Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw I had 2 kids she wanted to know why I bothered since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3486

You deserved it

143

Favorite

By Noname - 11/3/2009 05:21 - United States

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

81370

You deserved it

3796

Favorite

By stillhurting - 5/1/2014 21:45 - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56544

You deserved it

7506

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/7/2009 21:43 - Canada

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

I agree, your life sucks

72834

You deserved it

5525

Favorite

By Braced - 21/2/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9077

You deserved it

38691

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 04:10 - Australia

Today, I was informed by my manager at work that there had been an 'accident' in the playground. I then had to crawl through tunnels designed for 5 year olds, to a tiny playroom with no fresh air, and clean up a stupid kid's pee and crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37215

You deserved it

3343

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/3/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75112

You deserved it

23790

Favorite

By Lovesucks - 2/12/2019 14:00 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Is she better than me?

Today, I found out my boyfriend, who is buying me a ring for my birthday is buying my best friend a ring that cost 10 times more than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2701

You deserved it

244

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/8/2011 23:06 - United States

Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19301

You deserved it

22591

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/8/2020 08:01

Harsh

Today, my mom screamed in my face that if she could go back in time, she’d rather have put up with the 3-minute pain of being fucked in the ass like her boyfriend wanted, because then she wouldn’t have had 13 years of pain raising me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2472

You deserved it

273

Favorite

By UghDude - 6/9/2014 13:35 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42117

You deserved it

3256

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/3/2013 16:13 - United States - Craftsbury

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36139

You deserved it

13669

Favorite

By vadoodoo22 - 15/1/2010 05:02 - France

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27796

You deserved it

3219

Favorite

By fatty milkshakes - 29/1/2013 22:56 - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36032

You deserved it

9144

Favorite

By Dee - 13/7/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45977

You deserved it

21941

Favorite

By Harry - 10/6/2014 01:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52337

You deserved it

3850

Favorite

By dumbass for a flatmate - 3/3/2013 02:35 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29243

You deserved it

3703

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/4/2014 22:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41317

You deserved it

4205

Favorite

By hk - 20/9/2016 15:29 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I was introduced to the girl my current boyfriend went out with while dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12202

You deserved it

991

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/4/2018 23:00 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I found out that my best friend used the sexy dance moves she asked me to teach her to get into my ex-boyfriend’s pants. We dated for two years and broke up less than a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4100

You deserved it

414

Favorite

By sparky83000 - 29/10/2015 20:51 - Canada

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25045

You deserved it

1434

Favorite

By mistickfae - 29/10/2012 18:42 - United States

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23823

You deserved it

2238

Favorite

By Panda_Bearr - 3/9/2011 04:33 - United States

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33566

You deserved it

2703

Favorite

By pothole - 3/3/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24965

You deserved it

4141

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/3/2015 15:02 - United States

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32562

You deserved it

2812

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/6/2014 15:28 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48517

You deserved it

3290

Favorite

By ren - 13/1/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29290

You deserved it

1936

Favorite

By toosmall - 31/1/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32509

You deserved it

2573

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/7/2017 12:00 - United States - Hurricane

Today, at work, I wanted to scare my best friend, who is also my coworker. Thinking that he was cleaning the women's bathroom, I snuck in and right when I was about to scare him, my store director came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1875

You deserved it

3701

Favorite

By nimrod23 - 18/10/2009 09:28 - Australia

Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41931

You deserved it

2506

Favorite

By AmberKCole - 8/7/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9516

You deserved it

100167

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/6/2012 16:25 - United States - Bucyrus

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25046

You deserved it

2637

Favorite

By Donny - 4/8/2011 20:49 - United States

Today, severely tired and pulling an all-nighter, I was editing documents at work. Eventually the words blurred together and "which" began to look funny, so I corrected them. I realized too late that I'd turned in the company's brochure with every "which" spelt as "witch". FML

I agree, your life sucks

14921

You deserved it

28660

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/3/2012 17:21 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26229

You deserved it

4339

Favorite

By Eh.. - 5/12/2018 04:00 - Israel

Today I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles at smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number and she said "nah" still haunts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2211

You deserved it

1296

Favorite

By Cop-er-Pot - 16/10/2017 16:00

Today, I realized that my work life is far less stressful than my home life. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3477

You deserved it

265

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/5/2011 21:20 - United States

Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34594

You deserved it

4412

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By CamBamShamDaMan | 26

#7390884 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 1:29

Its not like u wouldve gone if u were invited cuz u hate them

By goldendarkness | 18

#7390900 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 2:41

If you blocked them don't be surprised.

COMMENTS

By CamBamShamDaMan | 26

#7390884 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 1:29

Its not like u wouldve gone if u were invited cuz u hate them

By goldendarkness | 18

#7390900 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 2:41

If you blocked them don't be surprised.

By lexiieeex3 | 32

#7391027 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 9:14

If you blocked most of them anyway then why would you even want to go?

By lexiieeex3 | 32

#7391028 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 9:15

If you blocked most of them then why would you even want to go?

lexiieeex3 | 32

#7391566 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 16:13

Sorry guys comment posted twice forgive me.

species4872 | 19

#7391633 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 17:27

It's not you, add a comment and it says that it's added, but comment doesn't appear so you do it again.

By Talis99 | 26

#7391034 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 9:32

What are you whining about, OP? Did you expect something different? YDI.

By Bloodknight | 22

#7391054 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 9:59

So.... Why do you care?

By fireblazes | 9

#7391327 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 13:25

So are most of my classmates. But, Hell, I don't want to see them anyway...

By angeluscado | 15

#7391492 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 15:09

If the people you were going to see are all on your block list, why would you want to go in the first place?

By angeluscado | 15

#7391494 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 15:10

If the people you were going to see are all on your block list, why would you want to go in the first place?

Fuhkyoo | 17

#7391551 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 16:01

to see who got fat of course

By cats1234 | 15

#7391625 - Wednesday 18 January 2017 17:17

So why would you want to go then?

Don't forget to bring a towel