Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo...

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 785

You deserved it 6 163

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Same thing different taste

By brebre101 - 31/07/2011 09:05 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 175

You deserved it 4 917

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 755

You deserved it 5 735

By roomingwithevil - 09/05/2012 23:26 - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 753

You deserved it 2 059

By Woops - 27/08/2014 22:57 - United States - Secaucus

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 816

You deserved it 47 285

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 239

You deserved it 3 501

By HousemateHorror - 20/11/2017 19:00

Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 256

You deserved it 574

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 357

You deserved it 5 211

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 980

You deserved it 2 363

By powsser - 11/03/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 408

You deserved it 5 701

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 574

You deserved it 6 326

jhkmyun 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:07

Yikes, creepy much?

24788 6

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:09

That's some creepy shit.

Comments

cooluka 0

Friday 15 July 2011 21:41

OMG i think that shane dawson made a video about FML and this fml was in the vid i found it

KairiLycan 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 1:30

He did. Lol

briissocoollike 8

Friday 12 August 2011 5:44

GTFO WHILE YOU CAN!!!

chattysoul890 18

Wednesday 2 November 2011 0:58

well that says something about your friendship......

gparsley 6

Friday 2 March 2012 15:07

Roommates creepy right???

runnawaygirl 4

Thursday 29 March 2012 23:42

That's really creepy...

C0leTRain01 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 0:00

Comment Moderated.

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 8 May 2012 0:35

Time to find a new roommate!

tony1891 22

Friday 25 May 2012 19:53

I'm not the one who's so far away, when I feel the snake bite enter my vein.

alannaclay 2

Sunday 24 June 2012 4:55

Run get out of there A.S.A.P

mustangs8 2

Thursday 2 August 2012 16:05

New roomate ? 0___o

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The Top

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 331

You deserved it 18 149

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 10 336

The Top

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 695

You deserved it 3 168

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 965

You deserved it 10 757

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 003

You deserved it 1 800

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 965

You deserved it 3 194

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 974

You deserved it 27 929

Today, at age thirty, my dad gave me the first compliment he's ever given me: "Remember to wash the pan out. Oh, and good job doing your chores and your mother's today." And everyone wonders why it took until last year for me to figure out I'm the same gender as this shitbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 373

Same thing different taste

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