By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 277
You deserved it 5 201

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Jesus Christ, that's scary.

At least she wasn't sacrificing you to Satan.


Jesus Christ, that's scary.

Sounds like something my grandmother would do.

How does that work if you are in bed sleeping?

I was raised in a church that up until recent decades, use to handle snakes. Waking up to parents and others standing over you, arms out stretched and whispering prayers and gibberish, though a common occurrence, is indeed scary!

What were they trying to baptize OP as? In the name of the goat, pineapple and airplane?

Nel nome del padre, del figlio e dello spirito santo, amen!

LOL I like you, #1.

Its better than being woken up to a crazy roommate attempting to sacrifice you.. o_O

lol that would be scary as hell

May god be with you?

Fuck that ....RUN

God is with him, he sent that messenger.

And with your spirit :)

The power of Christ compels you! Time for a new roommate btw. What an idiot.

I think religion is alright as long as you don't shove beliefs onto other people.

Does it? Does it compel him? Because it's not that compelling

Haha 72. Such a great movie.

Shoving beliefs on people? This is worse than that... It's kind of a form of legitimate religious rape...

Was it a full body baptism or just water on the head? If it was a full body one, then you better watch out OP!

Actually, it involved no water at all. The roommate figured that since you can't breathe underwater, and you can't breathe under a pillow, a pillow over OP's head would suffice.

At least she wasn't sacrificing you to Satan.

Always remember there is an upside OP

I think you found the one silver lining in this .-.

We don't know if its a he or she

...I'll take that as a yes *goes on with whole precedure* and now I baptize you in the name if the father, the son and the Holy Spirit. *starts pouring pales of water all over him.* "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK GET OUT!" "But I was trying to baptize you and save your soul..."

excuse me sleeping roommate, do you have a second to talk about our lord Jesus Christ?

if not, let me leave the good news under your pillow and some holy water on your head.

@6 I will take your silence as confirmation that you do. If you do not say anything I will also assume that you agree to a Baptism.

Hopefully you find a new room mate...

his roommate is now Jesus. eternally.

You're lucky, it could have been a circumcision.

Your are right, it definitely could have been worse

No sacrifice to god is scary because with satanic sacrifices you cut out the heart and paint a pentagram around the body with the blood and also cut inverted cross in where the heart was. A sacrifice to god they slit the throat and burn the body then your apartment or flat would have burnt down.

You seem to know too much about sacrificing things.

#9 do you have any insight on how to sacrifice to Alla?

Either way I wouldn't want to be sacrificed!

#19 No I did not look into it but I will to others that say I know to much about sacrifice I like to study religions and cultures that were and are based around religion.

Also #19 it's spelt Alah with a capital A.

It's also spelled "Allah" with two "l's"

It's Allah with two "l"s. Edit: #38 got there first.

An upside down cross is actually Saint Peter's cross. The satanic cross is much more complex looking with loops and infinity looking symbols. The upside down cross is misconceived to be satanic because of pop culture such as scary movies and bands that wanted to be edgy.

The Romans would also occasionally crucify people on an upside down cross.

We'll I did mean the cross of lucifer not the cross of St.Peter #60 forgot that there's two versions.

When they were feeling particularly cruel or the prisoner had done something truly, horrifically heinous (ie. committed treason, murdered their family, a group of unrelated persons or "raped" an officials wife, then yes, inverted crucifixion was a suitable form of punishment.

Well I've heard of creepy and then there's...that.