By HousemateHorror - 20/11/2017 19:00
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Unless you told him how you feel, he is allowed to sleep with whomever he wants. Sucks to be you, OP
I would see if you could find a replacement for yourself on the lease. Sometimes others will agree as long as the rent is still paid.
Have you guys discussed this guy before? If so, your roommate is a jerk, if not I’m sorry for that unfortunate/unlucky situation.
Discussed? He is a human being who is allowed to do what he wants. The roommate is allowed the same. Even if the OP told the homemade she liked him, it doesn't matter. They are free to do as they please. What difference does it make if she did say something?
Who said piece of property? Who said the man couldn’t sleep with the roommate? You guys are making some big assumptions off of a one sentence reply. If I cared about someone, and they shared that they were interested in someone I could take that into consideration and make sure she doesn’t walk in on us having sex. IF (note the if) the roommate mentioned the interest it seems like a huge dick move to sleep with him where they can be walked in on (like the living room). That’s where the lack of respect and being a jerk comes in. You two might want to think about how this situation could’ve occurred in a less damaging or hurtful way (locked door?), instead of assuming I said they can’t sleep with each other.
The fact you don't see how that's treating the guy- and the roommate as well, to a lesser extent- like property is a bit exasperating. Especially since your first two comments did in fact imply that the roommate was completely a jerk if they knew about OP's feelings. You're basically saying that the roommate and crush should have to sneak around and hide their relationship- whatever it may be- because OP didn't inform the crush of their feelings. What if the roommate had a crush on him first? Were they supposed to just go "well, I guess I'll just surrender to you"? Trying to control someone's behavior because their wants interfere with yours isn't respecting them as a person. And "dorm" means the entire unit- meaning that OP very well could have walked into the roommate or crush's room, particularly since many dorms don't allow permanent modifications to be made, and the individual bedrooms don't always have locks.
The fact that you can’t step outside your opinion to see how it could be done in a less disrespectful way is exasperating. Even without locks- put a sock on the doorknob. Pretty basic dorm code. No one wants to walk in on anyone having sex- the fact that it happened at all is reflective of someone who isn’t courteous to those around them, regardless of who they are sleeping with.
How about knock? Instead of just walking in. You like simplicity. That's the most simple thing you can do, yet OP did not do it. And as for not having sex while they are allowed, again sounds like you are trying to say the OP should be controlling their actions by her simply being in the building. The guy and roommate can do what they want when they want.
Trust me when I say this but I doubt anyone wants to be your roommate with your desire to dictate the actions of others. I, on the other hand, would make an amazing roommate because I understand people can do as they please and understand the basic concept of knocking before entering someone else's room.
Asexual and aromantic, so what your implying would be a problem wouldn't be, if the misfortune befell us to share a dorm. Also, failing to knock on a bedroom door is basically taking responsibility for anything you see, or you would have knocked before entering. And since OP is sharing the dorm, they in fact have a social obligation to knock, because opening the door without knocking means that they could expose one of their roommates in the buff to anyone by the door. Oh, and it doesn't matter how many indications of the vertical tango you put on the door if the person ignores them and comes in anyway.
Wow, you have no understanding of the etiquette for sharing a living space. I feel sorry for anyone that lives with you, because in addition to your lack of comprehension for the single most basic and universal rule of etiquette in regards to entering a room, but exactly the type of person that refuses to take responsibility for issues that your lack of manners cause. Aside from your inability to understand why there is a responsibility to knock when sharing living space, you also apparently can't comprehend that OP apparently didn't knock because it would have avoided the entire situation. You also made it very apparent why your user name relates to math rather than English, with your inability to comprehend my post, particularly in relation to the section about what you were implying. You would be a miserable, bullying roommate to have. I sincerely hope no one winds up in the position to have to deal with you as a house mate, as you would have them on the verge of a mental breakdown within a few months, between your flawed comprehension of roommate etiquette and need to lash out with disproportionate aggression against those who disagree with you.