Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
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Top comments
mersinary12 0
i bet that went done well with the Kids mother.....
DocBastard 40
Forever, you can't compare molestation and spanking. I was spanked as a child, and I'm not brainwashed or scarred. I have a 4 year old, and while I have not spanked her, once she is old enough to know right from wrong, I will if I need to. Corporal punishment will not land you in jail. Beating your child will. But spanking, no. And I like how you used both "their" and "there" incorrectly in the same sentence. That was amusing.
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Comments (142)
heygirlhey7 0
wow ur stupid
kethery 0
now if at work ur boss did this to u cause u missed a deadline or whatever it would be assult. why is it not assult to beat ur children?
riseofabreakings 0
I trip kids that piss me off, since Idon't actually hit them does that count as abuse?
Judus_beej 0
all I'll say to the people that are saying spanking your kids is alright is think about when your child gets older and spankings don't work? when do you stop being physical? do you start using fists? I grew up in an abusive house hold and if you haven't been in the same situation then you don't know jack. you may be fine with getting the crap beat out of you but you really think your kids are going to be. think back to when you were a child. I highly doubt you didn't care when it was happening.
Judus_beej 0
lol. why do I have the feeling your talking out of your ass? it's been proven that children who have been abused or harmed physically as children develop many problems later in life. think of all the problems people in the past have made and how recent generations are trying to correct these mistakes. i think you had a very sheltered life as a child.
stitch_book 4
true enough, but there's a difference between abuse and discipline. in this case, the mother wasn't being abusive. she was, however, being a dumbf*ck for hitting someone else's kid, and in that respect she deserves to be smacked herself. ah, but i digress. i ask this without sarcastic intention: if you don't mind my curiosity, what study was it that has proven your statement? in comparison, what was the typical result of children raised without the use of physical discipline? last i checked, my childhood friends and i all turned out fine. mind you, we were never abused, but we were raised where even our teachers would discipline us when (because we always did) would get unruly.
FMLollie 7
i agree with judas beej when ever you get hit you get angry same way if two adults were having a fight except a 4 year wouldn't dream to start a fight so they eventually end up resenting/ hating you this is when the pushing of boundaries start the guy who replied after him think about it before you swear and call names not all parents want to be resented by the child.
FMLollie 7
I never hit I turned out fine in fact I want to go in to the police. oohh I'm so unruly.
dhoreamuno 0
I feel sorry for the parents that have to resort to physical tactics to get their kids to listen to them. I'm 13, my parents never slapped me and I turned out just fine.
nerdface89 2
You're lucky, and it's rare
FMLollie 7
Erm I'm 15 my parents never slapped me I've turned out just fine too intact I want to be in the police ohh look I'm so unruly
CheshireHalli 19
Nerdface, as I explained in my earlier post, me and my friends were never truly hit and we're just fine. :)
nerdface89 2
and me and all my friends were all disciplined and we turned out great
Zmeilerr 22
atleast she isn't that guy that was on steve wilkos who goes around hugging random kids.
CRUZs_GURL1 0
AT HOME child: bi**h mom: time out darling child: shut up bi**h mom: time out dear child: NO!!! BI**H!!!*child runs away* *mom runs after him continuously saying "time out darling" then gives up* AT THE MARKET child: I want candy mom mom: no you'll spoil dinner child: shut up bi**h *everyone turns all wide eyed* *mother leaves in a hurry bright red faced to go home and time out the child which results in the first one*
Greenpenguin999 7
ydi for being a tight ass bitch. if you parent like that your kid will hate you and denounce you as a relation when he turns 18.
CRUZs_GURL1 0
AT HOME child: bi**h mom: that's a badword you know we don't like badwords child: I know mommy sorry *child continues to play* AT THE MARKET child: I want candy mom mom: no you haven't had dinner you'll spoil you're appetite child: I want a candy now!!!BI**H mom: what did you say? *and in a whisper* you're going to behave because I say so now continue this behavior and you're going to get it at home *move away with a smile* AND JUST INCASE THERE ARE CAMARS "vas a ver en la casa cabron si sigues te voy a meter una chinga bien dada
bassdredd 2
and cue the over-protective desensitized north american white trash comments in 3....2.....1....
stitch_book 4
you're 157 comments late.