Judus_beej

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

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52

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

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Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

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35

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words "You're fired." FML

21

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12

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

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