Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
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Top comments
mersinary12 0
i bet that went done well with the Kids mother.....
DocBastard 40
Forever, you can't compare molestation and spanking. I was spanked as a child, and I'm not brainwashed or scarred. I have a 4 year old, and while I have not spanked her, once she is old enough to know right from wrong, I will if I need to. Corporal punishment will not land you in jail. Beating your child will. But spanking, no. And I like how you used both "their" and "there" incorrectly in the same sentence. That was amusing.
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Comments (142)
TheDaringPastry 0
you DO realize that spanking counts as child abuse and is a crime right?
Clover2009 0
God I hope you never have kids if you're this retarded.
hmarie88 0
spanking is NOT child abuse. if it leaves a mark then yes, bt other than Tht it's jst discipline.
monkeykiller77 0
usually I'm all for hitting kids, but that's just bs, and u tried to make up an excuse, if he vomited on you, you would have the right to hit him, but for that?
tmurdock02 3
you shouldn't spank any child it's physical abuse.
shinco_fml 0
I was beaten several times with multiple trauma-issues, and I only developed several phobias, failed suicide attempts, deep enmity upwards my parents, and social awkwardness. I still misbehave, I still do things that I was beaten for, and I don't think that rules always have to be obeyed, especially when your parent is some crazy, strict-ass ****, but as for trying to kill myself, that's in the past, and I'm used to being shit scared of being in this house, and to be honest, my life is great. I'm completely fine for now because I can compensate for these things by socializing and drawing. for me, being punished only caused me to go into a depression, which leads into being overwhelmed and inactive. but that's just me years ago. and i still get beaten.
the4starr 3
YDI for abusing your child.. violence is never the answer, no matter how tame it may seem
danb1986 0
not being the type of mother to tolerate bad behaviour=good, not being the type of mother that can recognise their own child=very bad... YDI
RUSH777 0
Wow. I can't believe how ignorant some people are these days.. you don't know you're own son well enough from behind?
tony55_fml 0
undrsose your a pussy and bad kids dont get spanked thats why they are bad
lindsayr425 0
I have a feeling you used the word "swat" to downplay what actually happened so you sound marginally better and am judging as such! in Canada you could be charged with assault of a child, it is illegal to touch any child not yours, so good luck, and also resorting to physical violence when you are frustrated only teaches your child the same, and to fear you! do you really want your child to FEAR you!? think about that...
wastingmax 0
your retarted ive been spanked all my life and i dont fear my parents if i do something wrong and they give me a timeout that doesnt deter me at all whats a timeout sitting in a corner for 10 minutes i dont care if that happens so ill just do it again but i dont want a whooping so im not gonna do it again. your kids are prob spoiled little brats. i guarantee it
yipee 0
ur a HORRIBLE mother for 1.you hit tour children and 2. you couldnt even recognize your own child