Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
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Top comments
mersinary12 0
i bet that went done well with the Kids mother.....
DocBastard 40
Forever, you can't compare molestation and spanking. I was spanked as a child, and I'm not brainwashed or scarred. I have a 4 year old, and while I have not spanked her, once she is old enough to know right from wrong, I will if I need to. Corporal punishment will not land you in jail. Beating your child will. But spanking, no. And I like how you used both "their" and "there" incorrectly in the same sentence. That was amusing.
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Comments (142)
QWERTYCommander 5
You know, you should've checked his face.
ItsmeRJ_ 0
Why would you even post this on FML You should be busy dealing with the incoming lawsuit you idiot.
jess183xp 1
You shouldn't hit your kids anyway! unless you wanna end up in jail, you should of bribed him
nightwing86 0
what a dumb broad.
uhmye 1
Why is everyone overreacting? Yes, she was in the wrong for swatting the wrong kid but srsly.. swatting is not that big of a deal. It enforces discipline.
Hanouchka 0
It doesn't enforce discipline, it inforces fear of the parents in the child.
docscientist 10
better than rewarding them for acting like little ***** so they stop misbehaving like most parents do these days. children then only learn to act up so they actually get what they want.
CokeDicer 1
Good thing your a woman, they will let it slide. If you were a man, you would be looking at 20+ years for kidnapping and assault.
restythestar 0
today a woman spanked my butt in public cause she thought I was her son. I'm not. FML
judoka0alec 0
to all the ppl arguing about spanking, chill! all parents have different methods of parenting
DRock525 0
first I think how close were you paying attention to your kid? then I think, that kid is scared for life.