Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
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Top comments
mersinary12 0
i bet that went done well with the Kids mother.....
DocBastard 40
Forever, you can't compare molestation and spanking. I was spanked as a child, and I'm not brainwashed or scarred. I have a 4 year old, and while I have not spanked her, once she is old enough to know right from wrong, I will if I need to. Corporal punishment will not land you in jail. Beating your child will. But spanking, no. And I like how you used both "their" and "there" incorrectly in the same sentence. That was amusing.
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Comments (142)
valri3 0
My goodness..it's spanking not beating I think there is a fine line between the two..and wait until you all have kids you will all be going crazy.
GoingLesbian 0
It's not even spanking! She 'swatted' him! There's a HUGE difference between those two, yet again! Geez.. has everyone gone loony??? This thing just makes me mad lol the ignorance is ridiculous on this site xD
Jess_4602 0
I'm all teaching your kids good behavior but there are other ways to teach it without spanking them. Even though the kid had the same jacket how did u not realize he was not your kid??
GoingLesbian 0
It's not exactly difficult.. ever picked up the wrong piece of black clothing? The wrong cup? The wrong soap in the shower? Even the wrong toothbrush? We're not robots here -.-
CheshireHalli 19
...But a CHILD?! I'm sorry, I just find it hard to believe that a mother could confuse her child for another simply because he had the same coat.
Bieberbabe89 0
Child abuse! I hope you kid
ShaneDawsonOneFa 0
mean. hitting your child.
DoucheBagRapist 0
I hit my kids all the time.
Zmeilerr 22
right on!
Zmeilerr 22
right on!
Zmeilerr 22
right on!
tcj2010 5
ydi for using terms as "swatted his rear" that's kind of disturbing
bigwill722 0
lawsuit!!
Judus_beej 0
mom of the year right there. child abuse and not recognizing your own child. did you also drive home with your child after drinking a quart of vodka? if anyone one ever touched my kid that way even if it was a woman they'd be knocked the hell out. obviously I'd get my son to look away while it was happening.
Pennygrim 0
All of you saying she is a bad mother needs to shut up. He who spares the rod, spoils the child. Its in the bible and stop being wussies that think a little spat on the butt actually hurts them. They cry cuz they are in trouble, not from the pain
CheshireHalli 19
People are more saying she's a bad mother because: A) it was a minor infraction... the child did nothing wrong B) she can't even recognize her own child.
Judus_beej 0
oh great a bible quote because everything in it is true...
WishResign 0
135, nice try but the Bible's more accurate that any history book you can find... and good luck with your kid. I hope he gives you & your wife hell. stick to your approach & get slapped around in the process. your 'words' won't mean a thing when he realizes he can do what he wants.
ItsmeRJ_ 0
I just feel like we should leave religion out of this. It's besides the point. She resorted to violence over somthing natural. A little kid is at the park ofcouse he will want to play longer.
docscientist 10
154...you mean more inaccurate.
WishResign 0
190, nope I don't :) sad how you people think. and in your eyes your existence is random, even more pathetic. but I digress... OP's a DUMBASS for grabbing the wrong kid. spankings are perfectly fine when done the right way. liberals need to grow a pair & stop letting your little brats tell you what time it is. kids cursing their parents out is absolutely ridiculous. the other day I saw this fat kid all of 12 years old slap the shit out of his mom. but NO! let's sit the kid down, give him a warning & all the other bullshit you read in parenting books regardless of the fact that there's no real method & those books are based off of 'educated guesses'. when she tried verbally reprimanding him, he told her to shut up & slapped her again. she deserved it for not giving proper punishment. I was spanked not beat. never once did I feel like I was being abused. I even got a hug after & they explained it was to make sure I can grow up to be something & not end up in jail, etc. you're the same people that say abortion is a woman's right but spanking her own kid for misbehavior is isn't. hypocrites.
mhayes2 0
I say good job for actually doing something to make your child listen so many stupid ******* people out there say oo my don't spank I say your child is the one ID like to spank when you are getting schooled by your 6 yr old to u I say bad parent!! teachin them it's ok to be disrespectful!!!
lostfaithinpppl 19
Your intelligence shows in your ability to spell and punctuate. (in case you are too dumb to realize, that was sarcasm)
Judus_beej 0
being a civil human being is what your supposed to do. not be a savage because you don't get your way. people that can't handle children properly shouldn't be parents in the first place.
docscientist 10
it's not being savage, it serves a purpose. If your kid listens to you then fine. but wait until you get a kid who pushes his boundaries and won't respond to reason. Will you give in and let him/her become a spoiled brat who is poorly socialized, or use a bit of physical redirection? All they need to do is feel it, it shouldn't ever, ever actually harm them.