Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mersinary12 0
i bet that went done well with the Kids mother.....
DocBastard 40
Forever, you can't compare molestation and spanking. I was spanked as a child, and I'm not brainwashed or scarred. I have a 4 year old, and while I have not spanked her, once she is old enough to know right from wrong, I will if I need to. Corporal punishment will not land you in jail. Beating your child will. But spanking, no. And I like how you used both "their" and "there" incorrectly in the same sentence. That was amusing.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
zach055 23
You should be in jail.
vballchick101 0
First, spanking in like child abuse! ._. And you can't recognize your own son? O.o
docscientist 10
No, it's not.
jeniaisling 6
You liberal anti corporate punishment idiots are hilariously and very tragically just plain stupid. Get a ******* brain and stop repeating the same Pansy assed, misspelled rants ever. Dipshits.
SarahMarie83 0
I may be liberal but I completely support corporate punishment for children. It's such a revolutionary idea. I just put the little carpet surfer in an Italian suit and make him play golf in his pretend office all day, with only a two hour lunch. It doesn't seem to be working though...
CheshireHalli 19
I find it funny that she is bitching about misspelled rants, and uses wrong words. :) I'm all for a swat, but there are limits (full-on beating, etc.). You should definitely make sure it is YOUR child though. lol. That being said, OP: You are stupid. Not only did you swat your four year old for wanting to play, but you got the wrong child. Why? Because he had the same coat as your child. Unless he's a practical twin, you are a shitty mother. :)
nerdface89 2
omg.. this 'he only wanted to play' bs is not an excuse.. he refused to stop playing after he was told it was time to leave (this is if it was her own son, and ignoring the fact that he squirmed because some stranger was holding onto him). Defying your parents 'because you feel like doing something else' is what will make you gro up a self-obsessed, un-empathetic asshole with no regard for authority or anyone elses feelings. It starts young. If you give into your kids everytime they feel like doing something else, good luck
CheshireHalli 19
Actually, nerdface, while yes, it could be seen as bad behavior, it's not one to be swatted for. And thanks for the sweeping generalization. :) Not all kids who aren't spanked for everything turn out like that. I know children who weren't spanked who grew up the exact opposite because their parents knew what WORKED. If spanking didn't work, they would explain to them what they did wrong, what would happen if they did it again. And guess what? They didn't. :)
rachelleg 0
oh my god spanking isn't child abuse beating the shit out of the kid is!!! if a child needs a spank to correct them that's fine I'm sure most of our parents spanked us if we were bold and it never done any harm... political correctness is going too far that's why there are so many thugs running around parents are afraid to be parents cause of labelling like that!! but spanking the wrong child lol hope u were bigger than the other mother
mista_smitty 0
oh shi-
MostHatedMan 2
I nominate you for the "Attentive Mother Of The Year" award
tobinator97 2
dip shit much?
Shotta 3
Mann, the hell with yall soft ass "put the child in timeout" parents. Sometimes kids need their asses beat.
Zmeilerr 22
how bout if I swat your rear everytime you don't get out of my jungle?
Zmeilerr 22
how bout if I swat your rear everytime you don't get out of my jungle?