Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
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Top comments
mersinary12 0
i bet that went done well with the Kids mother.....
DocBastard 40
Forever, you can't compare molestation and spanking. I was spanked as a child, and I'm not brainwashed or scarred. I have a 4 year old, and while I have not spanked her, once she is old enough to know right from wrong, I will if I need to. Corporal punishment will not land you in jail. Beating your child will. But spanking, no. And I like how you used both "their" and "there" incorrectly in the same sentence. That was amusing.
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Comments (142)
iVereor 0
how awful. I bet you will be hearing from the police real soon
airforcebound 0
that was my kid u bitch
Clover2009 0
******* idiots for thinking that one quick swat on the butt is "Child abuse." This is why there should be controlled breeding.
jadewings 2
To Judus. What you are saying is a bunch of bull shit. I was a child who was abused mentally and physically. yet I do believe in spankings, as well as i do believe there is a difference from giving your child a spanking from beating the shit out them. I am not for abuse. A swat on the ass is a punishment and from abuse. I don't have kids but I sure do remember being a kid and hanging with kids my age so I know that some kids just need an spanking and what is a spanking from what's going to get you in jail. a swat is not going to get her in jail, shit hitting the other kid is not going to get her jail time. she is not a bad mother. and to the girl who says bribe you kid let's see how long that will work or how long before they know the can use that shit a against you. "I can get whatever from my mommy cause I play her like a flute, I'm boss." kids are sweet but not all kids are sweet and at the first sight at weakness they will get the best of you doing more and more to see what they can and can not get away with and for most kids who do that they try to get away with everything. leave this woman alone just cause you think it's wrong dose not mean you need to judge her. she won't tell you how to raise your child so you shouldn't tell her cause you don't know that child and you sure are not raising or taking care of him. and op look at the kid before you spank him. or wait till you get home. with the right kid of course lol.
Erindub 0
I wish the parent/gaurdian of that poor little one came over and beat the hell outta you.
42billybob 5
On the subject of spanking: Pain is one of the few languages kids understand until they learn their first verbal language. Once they're smart enough to use reason, use that. You spank small children, not teenagers. Make the effort to know your kids on a personal level and you should be able to tell when to make the switch. I do think there are better alternatives to spanking, but I was spanked as a kid and I turned out fine.
snakelady 3
swatting a child isnt abuse its discipline...both my sister and myself got spanked with belts, switches, flyswatters and hands. my nephew is 3 and when he gets out of line all we have to do is say were going to get the flyswatter and he stops whatever hes doing and behaves. so whoever is saying that its abuse can shut the hell up...and to #77 who says their child is well behaved and you dont spank them...your full of shit...either that or you gave birth to a freak of nature...all kids misbehave.
bugaboo810 3
there is no reason to hit a child. first of all its wrong, and there are other ways to discipline, hitting isnt the only one. and you want your child to behave because they know its the right thing, not because theyre scared of being hurt. no child should be afraid of being hit by their own parents or guardian who say its hurt them more than it hurts the child. well if it hurt so darn much then you wouldnt do it in the first place
stitch_book 4
your first and second sentences contradict, and though i agree wholeheartedly with your third, reality doesn't always. also, i find your ending sentence rather curious; are you saying that pain is a strong motivation against doing something "wrong?"
sexymango 0
That's amazing
omfg_usuckatlife 0
Swatting a childs rear is not abuse you bunch of overreacting hippies. There's nothing wrong with a smack on the butt, when its your own kid. That's what kids today are lacking and why they've become the spoiled pains in the arses they are... Honestly take a chill pill!!!!