Love: Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed... - FML

By zed - 09/09/2012 17:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 923

You deserved it 3 105

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First Dates

By mildver - 20/04/2009 04:51 - Costa Rica

Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 679

You deserved it 4 602

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 609

You deserved it 3 900

By Anonomous - 08/12/2014 17:58 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 896

You deserved it 3 892

Pleased to meet y'all

By rokkstarrrVRV - 28/12/2013 08:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 323

You deserved it 5 162

Next

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 00:01

Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 117

By fredfredburger - 25/06/2014 17:45 - United States - Imperial

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 408

You deserved it 13 809

By well okay then - 20/05/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 298

You deserved it 4 673

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 192

You deserved it 6 582

By -insert clever nickname here- - 29/04/2012 23:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 515

You deserved it 15 007

Pleased to meet you

By Cookie Monster nom nom - 17/05/2021 15:01 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 172

Next

Top comments

Trix_Disorder 20

Monday 10 September 2012 2:49

I hope you said yes, claimed you were going to get the host, and then left her there. Rude.

RealTalk0 7

Monday 10 September 2012 2:54

You should have said, "Yeah. You're the disaster." FYL OP

Comments

Bulletross12 0

Monday 10 September 2012 3:30

Yess. Um lets say that. K byee

007type 26

Monday 10 September 2012 3:35

Ok. Take care. :)

devydev92 5

Monday 10 September 2012 3:34

Well good riddance if shes going to have the audacity to say that while you're taking her out to dinner. She's rude and not worth it, don't stress about it.

klx125cross 9

Monday 10 September 2012 3:35

That's kinda randoM? OP

CatsForLife 3

Monday 10 September 2012 4:29

Random like that capital M?

CaptainDoorknob 7

Monday 10 September 2012 6:28

44- Haven't you heard? Ending your word with a capital letter is all the rage these days.

nanpooo 6

Monday 10 September 2012 3:44

She could have been on her phone during the date and fully ignoring you and talking shit about you to their friends. Atleast you know she isn't worth your time.

SeeNote 1

Monday 10 September 2012 3:49

Thats when you say "yes this was a date and you were the disaster"

mackdeezy 22

Monday 10 September 2012 3:49

Say youre on Hell Date and remark that shes the devil

ninjadinos 14

Monday 10 September 2012 4:14

I LOVE NEXT. Sorry, I got excited.

jonnp 2

Monday 10 September 2012 4:37

I hope you left her the check...

keven501 12

Monday 10 September 2012 4:52

Don't answer and just stare at her until she leaves

st333ph 12

Monday 10 September 2012 5:17

Do the Jenna marbles face, hahahah!

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The Top

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 599

You deserved it 6 602

Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 434

The Top

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 244

You deserved it 5 526

Today, I woke up and found a trail of £5 notes in my bedroom, which led all the way downstairs and into the bathroom. I got to the last one, where I was then kicked in the balls from behind. It was my sister. She said it was the money she'd borrowed from me. I was left in my underwear writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 150

Today, as the only female manager, I had to talk to a worker about her hygiene. I asked if she had the means and a place to shower. She rolled her eyes and said of course she did, but found daily bathing unnecessary, and that a couple times a month does her just fine. The whole staff would disagree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 118

Today, my mom and I went to visit my Dad to wish him happy birthday. I was at a red light, waiting to make a left-hand turn into the only driveway, and once the light turned green, I was unable to go, because another car was coming out. Cars behind me were beeping. I was turning into the cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 88

Today, I finished birthday shopping for my husband, my son, and a close friend, who all have birthdays within a week. I was proud of myself for being organized, until I remembered: my husband has a twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 169

Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 318

You deserved it 2 831