Today, I woke up and found a trail of £5 notes in my bedroom, which led all the way downstairs and into the bathroom. I got to the last one, where I was then kicked in the balls from behind. It was my sister. She said it was the money she'd borrowed from me. I was left in my underwear writhing in pain. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML
Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, while I was playing football with a friend, my sister wanted to join in. She was messing around with the ball at the start, then suddenly she kicked the ball through my legs, pulled my shorts down and kneed me in the nuts. FML
Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML
Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen and found a friend of my sister's stripped down to just her panties changing her clothes. In the kitchen. She had the nerve to call me a peeping Tom and slap me. Why was she even here without my sister, and why couldn’t she use the bathroom to change? FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Can someone explain to me why so many people think it’s funny to kick guys in the balls? I’m a woman but I understand the pain is excruciating. It’s not funny at all and is ******* assault. How is this ok and also so common that I hear about guys getting hit in the balls all the time as a joke or prank??
mike3775 39
It’s because some are total assholes and love to see others in pain. I told all my boys if I ever catch wind of them deliberately kicking another boy in the balls, I will find a suitable punishment. One tried me, and he finally got to wear the type of clothes he liked after 6 months.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Hey, you did get paid back! Depending on how many notes were there, the literal kick in the balls might be less painful than the figurative one if she defaulted on her debt.
Marcella1016 32
Can someone explain to me why so many people think it’s funny to kick guys in the balls? I’m a woman but I understand the pain is excruciating. It’s not funny at all and is ******* assault. How is this ok and also so common that I hear about guys getting hit in the balls all the time as a joke or prank??
mike3775 39
It’s because some are total assholes and love to see others in pain. I told all my boys if I ever catch wind of them deliberately kicking another boy in the balls, I will find a suitable punishment. One tried me, and he finally got to wear the type of clothes he liked after 6 months.
RichardPencil 32
It's funny when it's not you? That's the best I can think of.
bobsanction 18
Sounds like you need to give her a solid clam slam in return.