By .__. - 07/12/2014 08:10 - United Kingdom - Wembley

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 478
You deserved it 38 483

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That's what you get for snooping

Dude. So much kink. It's almost unbearable.


That's what you get for snooping

cmchappy 25

I thought op would have stopped after finding the whip

OP probably found it all in one place.

The whip was there to serve as a warning to let the OP know what will happen if she continues to snoop! The ball gag was there to let mom know what will happen if she tells you your gift early. As far as JKF... Who doesn't love a bit of history?

The newspaper about the assassination served as a warning for those who failed to heed the first two warnings.

Yep, there's just no way this isn't the OP's fault. I've never understood wanting to ruin the surprise anyway.

I think it was interrogation role play. Suspect for the assassination and a sadistic interrogator.

RA91 26

Lmao!!! I Love the explanation #34!!

"Merry Christmas!"

How do you explain away the sex toys?

Dude. So much kink. It's almost unbearable.

It really blows my mind.

Did you really just reply to your own comment?

#42, he's probably the guy who sold OP's parents the whip and ball gags.

*when your so proud of your comment you comment on it #whothefuckdoesthat

Ha! UnBAREable!

and such an awful kink too...fyl op.

The feels :/. Kinky though?

And this is why you shouldnt snoop

I feel a conspiracy

Well...did you find any presents?

Maybe those were the presents

Hahahahaha! Omg I laughed harder at your comment than I did at the FML

Evidently they weren't, as they were the only things OP found. But I get the feeling that you're suggesting that those were the presents, which is just wrong.

Brain bleach would be perfect for this situation

I'll need some if I keep having to read comments about brain bleach. It's like the FML community can't ride a horse without maiming it with sticks after.

expertsmilee 26

Reminds me of that scene from gone with the wind where she keeps whipping the horse to go faster or move at all until it just keels over dead.

well... I mean... you kinda set yourself up for it by snooping. I snooped once when I was around 7 and found condoms and a massive *****, never again. .

As a kid, I secretly used to carefully unwrap and rewrap all my gifts that were kept under the tree before Christmas. Wow was I disappointed! I mainly got shitty gifts. Never felt like I needed to wake up early on that morning.

when I was like 4, I found my parents stash of condoms sorta, and I asked them what they were. they said they were for cleaning computer screens. I tried it like a week later, that was disappointing. BTW, the condoms were like right by the door so any and every one knew they were there.

When I was 7, I thought condoms were flavoured bubble gums.

On the first day of Christmas my family gave to me, one sexy whip, two ball gags, three sex toys, political clippings, and a dose of emotional scarring!

Is nobody else curious about the JFK clippings?

I've sat here for like the past 30 minutes trying to figure out what that was about

TahoeFMler 22

If they were alive when it happened, it could just be historically memorable. Like people that say "where were you when you heard Lennon was killed" or "where where you when the towers were hit?"

Some odd fetish?

Madissoni 14

Well, when the towers were hit I was ******** myself... 5 months old...

His dad likes to be called Mr. President. I guarantee it.

where was u when op was kil?

Astrum14 24

I figured that they put all that stuff on purpose, just in case OP and any siblings OP might have decided to snoop around looking for gifts.

Those Kinky sons of bitches must've killed JFK