Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML
Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML
Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
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Top comments
bosniangirl27 21
That's what you get for snooping
ComoEsJuan 24
Dude. So much kink. It's almost unbearable.
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Comments (129)
Otaku31 19
Yeah. I learned not to snoop around my parents room after I opened the closet and found dog collars, whips, and a bunch of leather clothing. I don't dare find out what else is in there.
Plastic_Stitchez 25
Serves you right for snooping through what's not yours!
nialls_girl 13
Not the toys you were looking for, huh OP?
demonfacee 14
Maybe you should simply wait till Christmas instead of sneaking into hidden Christmas presents. YDI.
KociaQ 30
That's what you get for snooping around in parents bedroom. YDI with a pointed finger and a Nelson Muntz laugh.
ShenaniganNinja 20
I like how this implies your parents get off to BDSM and the JFK assassination at the same time. Have fun with that image in your head OP. YDI.
tuffykat 8
parents hide presents in the car trunk, duh!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How old are you, five? If you're old enough to on this site, you're old enough to know better than to snoop around for Christmas presents. What were you going to do if you found them? Wake up on Christmas Day knowing exactly what you got, or were you hoping they'd let you have them early if you found them? Or were you looking for something in particular or making sure you liked them all? Regardless, YDI for snooping. Christmas is like two weeks away; be patient!
buckysam 7
Parents need to learn to hide shit better. They know kids are going to snoop around. I always used to snoop around my parents room when I was younger and I still have yet found anything, even where the hide the presents before Christmas.
Hime9908 22
Pray to God thoes aren't your xmas presents