Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML
Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML
Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
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Top comments
bosniangirl27 21
That's what you get for snooping
ComoEsJuan 24
Dude. So much kink. It's almost unbearable.
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Comments (129)
Britt125 16
You know when I have kids I'll probably leave stuff like that around just to freak the hell out of them for snooping. Don't snoop if you can't handle what disturbing things you made find, or don't snoop at all and respect people's privacy. I mean I used to snoop too, when I was like 8, but I learned not to.
mawdeuce 16
Really shouldn't be looking in your parents stuff, don't you have any respect for other people's privacy? Hope you learned your lesson.
DoubleDosexo 12
my parents don't have much respect for my privacy, so I shouldn't for theirs. but my parents are too open about things, so I can't "snoop"
MandyMeow_fml 18
This is what happens when you try and ruin Christmas
itooamscrewed 10
Why do people search for their presents? It ruins the fun
Notverycreeative 13
At least you know they still got it! ?
TahoeFMler 22
Parents with a sex life care more for each other than parents that ignore each other! That's what I remind my teens when they "catch" hubby and I kissing. Better than parents than fight!
DoubleDosexo 12
I actually like seeing my parents kiss and hold hands. I give them shit about it though xD I would never want to see them making out or giving each other hickeys like they did up until I was like 10.
quickit 24
Mommy and daddy still got it ;)
aedar 16
Maybe those are your christmas presents :)
TahoeFMler 22
Definite you deserve it. As a parent of a teen, I have so little to give you that is a surprise. Really, so little that is even something you'd like that brings joy to your face, why would you do that?? Regarding the private equipment you found, how much do you want your parents going through your shit? YDI!
jelrid 30
Really? Snooping for Christmas presents? Be careful what you search for- you may just find it!
Mojo0608 26
I once went in my parents' room to get my mum's bag when she asked me to. I guess she forgot that her and my father's "toys" were about. I've also had the horrible experience of waking up in a shared hotel room to my dad watching **** when I was 7. I have no sympathy with you for going through stuff and finding it when there's plenty of people who've had similar or worse trauma when they weren't snooping and trying to ruin the fun in giving a gift to somebody.
DoubleDosexo 12
I've woken up to my parents having sex when I was like 7. my mom screams.
Mojo0608 26
I wear headphones to bed for a reason...