Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML
Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML
Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bosniangirl27 21
That's what you get for snooping
ComoEsJuan 24
Dude. So much kink. It's almost unbearable.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
born_hustla 26
I think your parents are very adventurous!
Tymaster5 22
When I was 5 I snooped into my moms room and found a book for sex positions. I'm glad I didn't know what I saw at the time.
xebi 4
Sorry you had to see that OP but don't see what's WTF about it. They're a couple, so yeah they have sex toys. And perhaps they're of the age when the JFK assassination was a big life event for them and they've kept the clippings as souvenirs. I wouldnt connect the two if I were you.
maiiru 7
Curiosity killed the cat
Nessco 36
Motto of the story: stay out of your parents' room. YDI
Blippety 23
If only they were as good at hiding their sex toys as they are at hiding OP's presents.
laden_swallow09 35
"Today, I snooped aroun–" YDI, dumbass.
ewang_ 12
Call the cable/pay tv company and get all channels with murder **** on them blocked
spoo 24
Those are odd presents to get your child...
casste 6
Kid, you need to learn boundaries. Would you want your parents sneaking around in your room? When I was a child, I learned that it was wrong to enter someones domain or touch their things without asking...