By Anonymous - 24/12/2015 23:47 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 259
You deserved it 2 149

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Tell him it's a weird catapult or something, and maybe have a talk with your husband about when it's appropriate to give jokey presents

Yeah.... Santa probably should have delivered that one where the kiddo couldn't see it. Fyl

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Tell him it's a weird catapult or something, and maybe have a talk with your husband about when it's appropriate to give jokey presents

Am I the only one wondering why they were opening presents the day before Christmas?

The international date line is to the east of Australia. The date stamp is based on the computers that the FML servers are located on. They opened them Christmas Day.

Australia is about 24 hours ahead of New York, maybe that's why?

Some people and some cultures open them on the 24th anyway, so what? You really felt the need to hijack the first comment just to ask a dumb question like that?

I would hope its not a "jokey present."

Yeah.... Santa probably should have delivered that one where the kiddo couldn't see it. Fyl

Tell your son it's a drain plug for the sink or something

It's a ball gag, not a butt plug!

Ah yes, I got stuff mixed up.

Tell him the classic, "It's an adult matter." then take him to get ice cream. Always works.

Not all the time. Some kids get suspicious of weird things and try to find out on their own.

on Jesus' birthday? blasphemy

If they are married there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

It isn't even his birthday, let alone a Christan holiday, Christmas was around far longer than Christianity

I think number 5 was joking, guys But that 27 is correct in his statement, also The early roman catholics blended pagan celebrations with Christian beliefs Easter is based on the goddess of fertility but Christians use it for other things But I digress

Don't worry, your child will forget about it soon enough

not necessarily. OP doesn't say how old the son is, andbi know I could have gone my entire life without knowing what a ball gag is.

That life would've been boring

They grow up so fast. It seems like just yesterday that the boy turned 30...

what's wrong with getting a headphone for yourself ?

thunder, you are /allowed/ to explain jokes for other people instead of being a dick

If you still wanted it explained, 13, OP'S husband implied that OP is too loud in bed. He got her a ball gag to reduce the amount of noise, hence the headphone joke. Overall, sounds like he was joking, but this was the joke explained.

I interpreted it as the husband implying the wife nagged him. If it were just for sex, headphones would just mean that the son could hear it while the dad can't.

"It's Rudolph's nose!" Cue ice cream. Avoid trauma.

Could always buy him a butt plug for bad gas...