Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML
Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML
Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
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Top comments
bosniangirl27 21
That's what you get for snooping
ComoEsJuan 24
Dude. So much kink. It's almost unbearable.
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Comments (129)
tinkdatank 15
Happened to me too man, but you and I both deserved it lol.
joshi42 16
Neatly packed ones are your presents.
CaptainRR 20
Watch as you get the sex toys for Christmas this year
ThePols 11
Next time they're both in the same room, call your dad Mr. President. I guarantee both their faces will drop hahaha
kseniasolorocks 11
omg i found a giant ***** in my moms it was about 2 feet in length and 6in and found my dads penis pump...
OMG_132 9
Well, all I can say is... You've got yourself some pretty sexy parents. Also, I'm sure if that's what your parents are hiding, you probably aren't an only child OP, lol
TypoFairy 20
I'm fairly certain they would know that they aren't an only child by now.
CptFabulous 6
Things to keep in your house incase your kids go snooping
ordinarygent 14
Some people and their fetishes (still wondering about those newspapers)
TypoFairy 20
Maybe they keep them for their game of Suspect/Investigator?
WarriorOmen 25
Kinky assassination roleplay? One partner tries to be the 'victim' the other the 'assassin" except they assassinate the victim with their **** instead of a gun ;)
ElementaryEdGuy 18
80 - Stop talking about OP's mom's ****...
WarriorOmen 25
I couldn't resist.
Imareth 10
And you thought invading other people's personal space/privacy was a good idea... why? YDI.
martin8337 36
Giggity.