Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML
Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML
Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
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Top comments
bosniangirl27 21
That's what you get for snooping
ComoEsJuan 24
Dude. So much kink. It's almost unbearable.
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Comments (129)
Sentaru 7
"Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents..." You deserved it. Seriously, Christmas is 17 days away. Be patient.
corleon198425 22
well either you're mom or dad has been a naughty grassy noel ( rimshot)
minagiv 11
And the WTF is exactly why you found it. I know I would do that if I knew my kid was snooping for presents. I never even thought to do that as a kid... The surprise is the fun of getting presents!
5Ronins 4
At what point did you stop looking?
yumi209 5
Why you would want to keep searching after finding one toy is beyond me.
smudgey_bubbles_ 8
oh my lord
XQuartzX 15
that's the worst way to find out how sexual your parents are.
dolansmarie 8
That's exactly what you get for snooping. I never went into my parents' bedrooms without asking first. I hope you have sweet dreams after your apparently thorough search.
SodaDisSpencer 2
merry christmas, its just what you wanted... right?
kalbrek009 20
Hopefully they put those there just to get a reaction from you since they probably already know you snoop.