Creepy crawlies

By Anonymous - 27/07/2020 17:01

Today, a friend of mine told me, after coming over to my house for years, that she has tiny "bugs" that are attached to her and follow her wherever she goes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 377
You deserved it 111

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Does she mean insects or listening devices? The latter is more batshit crazy and interesting, and the former sounds like you're just plain dirty.

Yes hopefully the latter. She may be just a little crazy and harmless. If it’s the former...she could also be crazy and they’re imaginary. And she’s also harmless. Or if she has literal bugs crawling all over her (following her??) and you never noticed anything in three years...I guess meaning they’re harmless. Or your house is already “bugged” and you didn’t notice the extras. Orrrr she’s crazy and not harmless. And you should run before she decides you’re out to get her too and she tries to do something about it. Seriously, maybe find a way to suggest she talk to a professional. I know a paranoid delusional person and the meds definitely help her. She remains harmless.

Comments

Does she mean insects or listening devices? The latter is more batshit crazy and interesting, and the former sounds like you're just plain dirty.

Yes hopefully the latter. She may be just a little crazy and harmless. If it’s the former...she could also be crazy and they’re imaginary. And she’s also harmless. Or if she has literal bugs crawling all over her (following her??) and you never noticed anything in three years...I guess meaning they’re harmless. Or your house is already “bugged” and you didn’t notice the extras. Orrrr she’s crazy and not harmless. And you should run before she decides you’re out to get her too and she tries to do something about it. Seriously, maybe find a way to suggest she talk to a professional. I know a paranoid delusional person and the meds definitely help her. She remains harmless.

Why do some stories get lots of comments and others barely any? Someone put themselves out there to get your sympathy, advice or humiliating taunts. C'mon, people, let's pretend we give a shit!

Come on we don’t want to add shit to his bug problem. That would just make it worse.

Hmm my comments tend to be replies; rarely ever plain new comments. I guess I’m a follower and not a leader. FML.

Richard, I think this one just plainly doesn’t make much sense

You're right and that's where the FML community needs to come to the rescue. Now is the time to fill in the blanks and make outlandish assumptions to save the day!

You have some strange friends

Omg I hope she was joking, pray it’s not bedbugs

If she starts singing Jazz numbers, gambling a lot, and wearing a burlap sack, she's a real-life Oogie Boogie.