Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Steamy
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Remote sex
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML
Talk sexy to me
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Dirty talk
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Do me
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Top comments
hghrider123456 9
He basically told you to go **** yourself....
norwegianboip 17
Well.. It is the finale ..
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Comments (314)
darkfireflame 15
I hope you told he he should buy a ***** cuz he's gonna be needing it now that he's your ex.
bdub31 11
Time for a new man.
tattoowilli 0
I would have said the same thing! Love that show.
Fou_Lou 20
FML for him being rude to you. And YDI for not respecting his whish to do something else.
amisenho 11
It's amazing how the majority of these comments are supporting the boyfriend picking the show over sex. It's not because he's a guy and should stereotypically go for sex instead, but because people have this much faith in a television show. Sure, I used to watch T.V. as much as anyone else, but, as I got older, I stopped watching it altogether. These days, I'm lucky if I even watch an hour a week voluntarily when I come home from work, and when I do, I'm usually checking out the latest local news or weather for the week. Even though I play video games more than I watch T.V., I still wouldn't drop all plans with my boyfriend to catch the latest raid or start playing the latest console release; I get to it when I get to it. I suppose I'm just not into all the media hype and gossip these days.
IzzyIzebel323 13
Sounds like you need a new boyfriend but i do agree that show is pretty good.
KenziDionne 14
I think it's highly rude how he went about it he could have said in a way nicer way but payback is a bitch when he wants to have some “Fun" tell him the same thing
PizzaDeliveryGrl 19
He definitely shouldn't have been so harsh to you, OP, but... Come on, this is BREAKING BAD we're talking about.
_TheAtheist_ 10
On the contrary, speaking from personal experience I can quite confidently say that in the event of a breakup between an Atheist and a Theist, no matter whose fault or choice it was, every Theist (by extension, virtually everybody) who hears about it will indeed immediately declare the atheist an "asshole."
katebabymp7 3
Well why not watch it together and then get it on think smarter boys