Today, some total dipshit at my workplace tripped over their own feet and split their knee open bad enough to need stitches, ruining our plant’s safety record and screwing us out of free pizza. The worst part is that the dipshit in question was me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, my coworker and I were written up after we dropped a glass table, which shattered and left us with big cuts on our hands and arms. We weren’t written up for breaking the piece, but because a nearby customer heard us both swear in pain and reported us. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML
Today, at work, we had a fire drill. I was the first to run out of the building, but in my haste, I tripped on the stairs, and rolled down the flight. When I got to the bottom, I tried to stand up, but my ankle was already swelling. What felt like the entire office watched as I limped to the designated meeting point. FML
Today, I tripped and fell going up the stairs, not once, but twice at work as I was leading customers through our building. I actually got bruises. FML
Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML
Today, after spending the day at work avoiding all hard manual tasks that may harm me, I had a table dropped on my foot. I broke my toe, split my nail and had to get a tetanus shot. I was avoiding injury as I was supposed to be performing in a figure skating exhibition this evening. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
Yikes! I hope you heal up OK. And don't fret: Free pizza is not the Nobel Prize of Safety you may think it is. It's pizza. Big deal. (smile)
MidnaLink 35
No, OP IS the injured employee that cost the workplace Pizza.
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Comments (1)
DLBL 23
Yikes! I hope you heal up OK. And don't fret: Free pizza is not the Nobel Prize of Safety you may think it is. It's pizza. Big deal. (smile)