Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people, and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML
Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
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Top comments
Dashiell 0
Loser, srsly, who is dumb enough to not realize that they have their parents in their contacts?
Shlizabeth 0
I was gonna put some witty comment, but I realized your mom beat me to it.
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Comments (181)
lovell_says_hey 0
YDI for immaturity. You'll have time for parties when you're older, Sweetheart.
star_ver 0
You fail for writing this long ass essay to someone on FML. Get a life.
laxgirl16202 0
You are so stupid
iiTEMP524 0
Wooow you rlly do fail... How r yu gonna go out of ur way n say " some sex" now thts some loser shit
mils_fml 0
u r a douche
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
YDI for drinking. Flame me, I don't care, you're the ones knowingly poisoning yourselves.
TheCashMan88 0
Alcohol in moderation won't poison you, and some types may actually be benificial to the human body(red wine and possibly beer come to mind.) How does it feel to be so ignorant?
I_am_Lathan 0
@ #135 She obviously wasnt promoting moderation. How does it feel to have shitty reasoning?
TheCashMan88 0
He said, "YDI for drinking." Now go ahead and tell me she meant drinking heavily, and not drinking in general. Who has shitty reasoning, now?
mellr7 0
see i dont care about that part i just want to know how many retards/geeks said they could come? heh heh heh
Amandizzle 0
You are just a moron. im sorry.
anniebananie 3
Points 7 and 8 are just full of fail. Did you really think she was going to post her address on FML for us to see? And point 8, well, it has nothing to do with anything. I hate fatties just as much as the next person, but that came out of nowhere.
notashrimp 0
My god, you are an idiot. Who writes a text like that? "maybe some sex" really? YDI