Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
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Top comments
mpsteve137 15
Go to his house and tell his mom you're pregnant with his child.
happle 21
How did he find where you live..?
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Comments (102)
happle 21
How did he find where you live..?
isitinmybedroom 11
ownt
happle 21
What are you trying to spell? O.o
Shrike 23
1- ever heard of Facebook? Myspace? Old fashioned stalking?
BarDownDaily 12
12- Who puts their address on Facebook? Maybe city, but actual address is a bit much.
margie2194 12
That's a really good idea for a prank
n_epic_fail 14
Want me to take care of your "problem" op?... My price is very doable...
bassdredd 2
you should be proud, you've encountered a master troll
xSonic 9
I watched her walk home after school many times
THE_A_TEEN 27
Ignore n_epic_fail, OP. Amatures don't know what they're talking about. Meet me at location "One-Alpha" to discuss prices, methods of "practice", and the target at hand. It's all in the e-mail I sent you.
apbunome1 0
The powers of google
GoW_Chick 14
Google Maps : Providing exact coordinates to stalkers everywhere! Don't you just love how the Internet makes it so easy for people to be creepers...
BarDownDaily 12
31- Google maps still requires an address?
ShroomsOnAcid 16
33, A lot of people use foursquare, or "check in" their location on Facebook. Both can be done by OP, or a friend of theirs, indicating that this is OP's residence. Also, since it's a classmate, they could be on the same bus, or maybe he could have seen the book of addresses for his class. Some schools have those. Another way is to look at the .exif data on someone's photos. With GPS enabled smartphones, it could embed your exact location in there. Tons of options, and that ain't even half of it.
LookOnBrightSide 12
This kind of reminds me of the FML where a few kids asked their neighbor if he wanted to join the Westside. All I can say is, "You darn hooligans. Get off my lawn."
Zeppelin1969 5
I would literally beat the crap out of him the next time I saw him at school.
gress269 4
31- you would still need the address to find the house on google maps... idiot...
Alright92 0
Wow. You're a real man. Calling girls names. You should get your ass beat pubk
BarDownDaily 12
78- Did you not see me say the same thing right after she said that? You're the idiot.
sophielotus 2
Old fashioned school directory? Gotta hate those buggers. ShroomsOnAcid is probably right.
Jonkbaby 22
was this kids name Ed McMahon
RrLSf19 0
If I had a dollar for every time that happend....
bamagrl410 31
82 - I was going to say the same thing. In the public schools I went to, unless you specifically requested to be left out, your name, grade, address and phone number were printed in the school directory. So it's possible that was the culprit, or I guess checking in on foursquare like others suggested.
blushy 14
stalker!
alkerh 8
Evil genius!
TourettesGuyFTW 25
***evil bastard genius!
rherring 1
I say it's time for a bit of the old... you know... ass whooping!
JsSWAN 1
yeah cause that's not creepy or weird at all
DayAndNite 8
Yeah it is
thewhitelover3 9
60- he was definitely using sarcasm. But op seems like you have a future stalker on your hands
Cat_Daniels 6
HAHA I would stalk that kid and go do the same thing to him!
MrSassypants 33
What if his parents say "Go ahead and **** him. Seriously, just **** him ******* hard until he ******* breaks his ******* ****** gland shit because that little, horny fucktard has been going around town trying to **** every girl from his school." or they shut the door like a normal parent would instead of using vulgar language against a teenager that offend their child.
THE_A_TEEN 27
Try again in a different fashion. I suggest the "I'm here for my crack, where's mah crack? Your son promised me crack!" Method.
LookOnBrightSide 12
Or ask him if OP wants to represent the West Side. Be sure to wear gang-related clothing, just to get into character.
sskarma23 9
54- lol that's from another FML way to incorporate it
mpsteve137 15
Go to his house and tell his mom you're pregnant with his child.
aeshleyrose 6
Omg yes!!
TheThree 0
Who said OP was a girl? ;) "2/3 One of us is dead... Shh"
MrSassypants 33
34 OP herself, guess what the little pinkish purple symbol means by the FML?
silentbutfunny 0
Ummm, a gangster necklace?? :F
MrSassypants 33
This is the part where someone says "o a gangsta neklac wud b tight dawg. Swag! Swag! Swag!" but yet it would be pretty awesome to see someone wearing a necklace like that.
misssasy11 0
Omg what? ;)
jayslilsoulja 3
I would be more worried about a creep who knows where you live than being grounded
borkchop1992 15
Find him and spray paint his house in yellow dicks
The_Tool1 13
That sir, is the way to go.
RadPenny 6
This dude got game...
LmFaO9875 5
STALKER!
fattylumptard 1
Tell your dad your a hooker then he will unground you
xXxIracebethxXx 14
You're*
godlike1 5
Your* It's amazing how one can be in 17 and not understand basic english....
twilightluvr101 4
I love how ppl r freaking out about 14s spelling and not the fact that he said op should tell her dad shes.a hooker so she can get ungrounded ':/