Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people, and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML
Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
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Top comments
Dashiell 0
Loser, srsly, who is dumb enough to not realize that they have their parents in their contacts?
Shlizabeth 0
I was gonna put some witty comment, but I realized your mom beat me to it.
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Comments (181)
JrossDaBoss 0
She never said "Maybe some sex" She says "MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP" read before what you qoute. On the other hand that's probably the idea she had in her had just wanted to word it differently. YDI
DareToDream7 0
OMG, THANK YOU! I was getting really annoyed at that too, like how the hell did everybody miss-read that? She never said "maybe some sex" she said "maybe a chance to hook up" which is (to me at least) completely different. Sex is sex, hooking up is like making out. But that could just be me. Anyways, I agree with #169, make sure you actually read the FML right before bashing the OP and acting like you're right, you aren't. So stfu.
grimpow_fml 0
phones now (atleast verizon) make you check 10 at a time, and send them that way. YDI for blindly checking
Loserr_Face 0
fail. haha :)
ecrtwilight 0
Um, lots of ALCOHOL? that sounds really lame. And you are just stupid. And a loser. sorry.
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
but would she come for the booze or the chance to hook up?
money127 4
Dumbass...
money127 4
Who the **** says " mabye a chance to hook up"? you are ******* fag my friend
ryanbeast 7
You are a dumbass!
tdonato 2
keywords 'whole phonebook'
lisakin 13
Only three weeks? Id be grounded for life if i were ever caught