Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.
Luckster 0
That Grasshopper waited all day to do that to you! You know that, right?
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Comments (127)
Miz_Firebrand 3
It's called Karma. Look it up!!
uxoriouswidow 0
I hope no-one actually thinks that a grasshopper 'minds' if you pee on it. This is not a YDI.
Edumacated 0
LOL this made my day OP. Thanks =).
Ducttapemann 0
lol, wow, that sucks, but really funny
IC4M3R0NI 0
10
IC4M3R0NI 0
Yea 10
IC4M3R0NI 0
Yea
avfcfan89 0
called karma. dont worry, i would have taken a shot at that grasshopper too.
larcenousturco 0
Why did it scare you when it jumped? Did you expect it to just kind of saunter off dejectedly? They are called grassHOPPERS not grassgentlywalkawayers.
Trebie 6
Lol! Seriously though, did you think it enjoyed being peed on? You had to know it would try to get away. xD
sandyenjoyu 0
It is so funny