Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny...

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 944

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Same thing different taste

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 523

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 650

You deserved it 46 030

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 089

WHO ARE YOU?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 779

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 37 011

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 73 405

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 878

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 774

You deserved it 11 474

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 61 823

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 963

You deserved it 4 787

jessxoxo28 5

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:15

thats wat u get for trying to pee on a roach

eduardo2k 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 0:30

roach 1 - 0 you

Comments

idkweird 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:16

Eww, that's disgusting.

eduardo2k 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 0:30

roach 1 - 0 you

dukain94 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:16

LOL Owned.

jessxoxo28 5

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:20

haha no ur nottt :)

lilbios 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 2:31

haha dryyy

jessxoxo28 5

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:15

thats wat u get for trying to pee on a roach

justdancebbyx3 7

Wednesday 23 December 2009 0:36

This reminds me of the FML about the guy peeing on the grasshopper :/

seanreddog 4

Wednesday 23 December 2009 0:48

You peed all over yourself AFTER all that. If it was during, I could understand, but you "then" peed all over yourself. You're supposed to do that with jellyfish stings, not headwounds.

bailo 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 3:56

inket_fml 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 15:20

Karma.

Cassandrarox 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 16:28

I knew this FML looked familiar!

skullbashd 3

Tuesday 30 March 2010 18:23

a roach can survive nuclear it'll survive pee

i_am_bomb 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 22:41

poor roach

lexy216 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 4:50

that's sooo gross!

Rokstarr 0

Monday 19 July 2010 4:09

I recently read that one too

Zareen 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 4:24

Who does that??? And can someone tell ms what OP is?? I'm kinda new to this :/

ssasjb01 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:16

ha first

cindayy77 0

Thursday 10 February 2011 17:33

fail

digibenho 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 4:12

HAA FIRST ... oh no nvm i'm just a failing looser.. (obvious joke about "#1" (wich is actually #3))

lmaoatyourlife 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:24

Not so much.

TheComputerGuy96 16

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:25

I think I've seen this FML before...

Mustardnight 3

Thursday 24 December 2009 8:55

Im just wondering what the point is of fake fml's, it ruins the point, therefore i am going to suggest most fml's are real.

meunknown101 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:27

Blah blah blah, I saw this FML 2 months ago.

YDI_King 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:32

YDI for being the stupidest kind of person

hennessey 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:43

Most stupid. Stupidiest is not a word.

bailo 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 3:43

he has to pee. he goes to the toilet. he sees a roach. he assumes it's dead. he pees on it and around it (i mean, it is in the toilet). how the **** is that stupid? was he supposed to fish it out?