Animals: Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the...

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 973

You deserved it 36 992

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Same thing different taste

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 956

You deserved it 54 076

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 956

You deserved it 8 687

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 134

You deserved it 47 916

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 75 504

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 644

You deserved it 26 645

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 941

You deserved it 61 814

By bugnose - 16/05/2011 06:26

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 929

You deserved it 9 111

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 22:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 300

By ow - 04/09/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 593

You deserved it 8 926

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 537

You deserved it 3 837

AugustBurnsToast 14

Monday 9 April 2012 16:14

What comes around goes around eh?

hotPinklipstick 24

Monday 9 April 2012 16:15

That's karma. Why don't you learn to piss on someone your own size.

Comments

AugustBurnsToast 14

Monday 9 April 2012 16:14

What comes around goes around eh?

airforce987 20

Monday 9 April 2012 16:17

In some restaurants there is a small bug painted on the urinal to help accuracy. In bear grylles' house there is a picture of his face.

KingOfAmazing 9

Monday 9 April 2012 16:18

The big bug was obviously pissed that the OP decided to urinate on his small friend. Probably not as pissed as the small bug, though.

Marcella1016 31

Monday 9 April 2012 16:18

That's funny my first thought was "karma's a bitch"...OP is lucky it didn't involve spiders flying out of the air vent this time.

Pelreskovich 11

Monday 9 April 2012 16:20

Sing it JT!

AugustBurnsToast 14

Monday 9 April 2012 16:23

^Yes!! Peireskovich just wins lol!

Pelreskovich 11

Monday 9 April 2012 16:24

Oh trust me, I nailed that note in my head! :D

Cad6 24

Monday 9 April 2012 16:32

Karma can bug you sometimes.

ThisIsMyReign 4

Monday 9 April 2012 17:46

I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on. I'll take a bug to the eye instead of eating pee'd on unless OP got it on himself.

Pelreskovich 11

Monday 9 April 2012 17:50

57 - Do you eat or drink pee? Like do you freeze it first so you can eat it?

lavitaebella_fml 0

Monday 9 April 2012 18:16

Karma's a bitch, only if you are.

Pandacupcakelove 26

Monday 9 April 2012 19:22

#57 "I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on"? See, here's where the difference between "then" and "than" is very important...

Aquaa_fml 0

Monday 9 April 2012 20:20

What joy did you think you would get from peeing on a bug?

alliewillie 22

Monday 9 April 2012 20:32

"Today, I thought it'd be funny if I..." YDI.

l0v3p4in 7

Monday 9 April 2012 20:36

Revenge of the Bugs!

ThisIsMyReign 4

Monday 9 April 2012 21:17

Stupid auto correct, I forgot what I was meaning to say thought.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Monday 9 April 2012 21:22

77 normally grammar nazis annoy me but you sir made me laugh with that. :)

colliebuddz420 7

Tuesday 10 April 2012 3:39

Why are there so many bugs in your bathroom?

yearcity 0

Tuesday 10 April 2012 3:51

actually bugs cant feel pissed or happy or any emotion same with many animals including cows ducks and maybe cats and dogs can feel simple emotion but bugs cant

Pandacupcakelove 26

Tuesday 10 April 2012 20:02

100 I am not a sir, I'm a miss ;) but thanks!

mrlopez 13

Wednesday 11 April 2012 12:23

Oh buzz off dude, you know OP is probably having a hard time at the moment... :)

littlemsweirdo 12

Monday 9 April 2012 16:14

Were you bugged?

TheZee 12

Monday 9 April 2012 16:32

I know someone will be planning to write this after reading the comment, so, I am going to get it out of the way. "I see what you did there" -_-... Good one though :)!

lenamartinovic 13

Monday 9 April 2012 16:37

Where*

littlemsweirdo 12

Monday 9 April 2012 16:39

29- don't you mean: EYE see what you did there!

littlemsweirdo 12

Monday 9 April 2012 16:41

34- wait , huh? Your correction is incorrect!

choochee77 0

Monday 9 April 2012 17:43

34-she was right the first time.

Cad6 24

Monday 9 April 2012 18:17

34 - Grammar Nazi fail. Although it's a rare occurrence, this one is exceptionally stupid.

Keyboard_Cat 2

Monday 9 April 2012 20:52

34 - Are you retarded?

nerdlyfe101 4

Monday 9 April 2012 23:26

Hahahahaha 34 comment was funnier than the FML itself Ahaha.

kissmybuttque 0

Tuesday 10 April 2012 0:01

Were you peeing outside?

abethehonest 4

Tuesday 10 April 2012 1:56

OP must obviously live in the amazon.

hugsnkissesforu 0

Tuesday 10 April 2012 7:16

34, Stay in school.

burro_fml 6

Tuesday 10 April 2012 16:31

34- why would he see what he did WHERE. He would see what he did THERE.

Nerdfightersrule 11

Tuesday 10 April 2012 18:57

actually, it's were...

ThatOneCanadian 0

Monday 9 April 2012 16:14

it was a trap all along, you fell for it!

xcarxcrashx 9

Monday 9 April 2012 17:17

That's what you get! Btw why do you have so many bugs just flying around your place??

ImABagel 0

Monday 9 April 2012 17:53

OP: Hey, look it's a bug! I should piss on it for some cheap fun! :D Admiral Ackbar: *jumps out of shower* IT'S A TRAP.

Guren 0

Monday 9 April 2012 23:07

Karma said **** you too

jerseyboy732 16

Monday 9 April 2012 16:14

karmas a bitch

smileycupcake62 4

Monday 9 April 2012 16:34

karmas a very large bug

hotPinklipstick 24

Monday 9 April 2012 16:15

That's karma. Why don't you learn to piss on someone your own size.

ghostlilac 25

Monday 9 April 2012 16:18

I think that if OP saw a human-sized bug, his last reaction would be to pee on it.

Pelreskovich 11

Monday 9 April 2012 16:19

I doubt if he were to walk up to someone his own size and piss on them that it'd turn out well, he'd most likely get a black eye instead of a bug to the eye.