Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.
Luckster 0
That Grasshopper waited all day to do that to you! You know that, right?
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Comments (127)
snow_cloak 0
"I was minding my own business when all of a sudden, I was plummeted by human piss. FML." And you totally deserve that one!
R3nesmee 0
I'll bet he's giggling right now.
snow_cloak 0
It's probably doable if ur a guy though
hey_guy 0
man id say you deserve it and all but haha i would definitely do the same thing, i remember when i used to go to the woods for camping trips or w/e and had to pee, I used to pee on ants and stuff it's hilarious, but then again shit happens
muchhate 0
I once peed on a guard dog through a fence. It jumped up on the fence and took it in the face like a perfect golden shower.
koesherbacon 0
Some places put pics of bees, crickets, etc in urinals to make sure guys aim properly... http://hamptonroads.com/2008/08/high-school-turns-tiny-insect-solve-bathroom-problem
missnikki 0
That's what you get for trying to piss on Mother Nature, moron.
spyderman2190 0
lol cant say anything, give me anykinda target and shall pee on it
Funambulist 0
Karma mate. YDI.
frankie88 0
seriously... wtf did u expect...?