Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.
Luckster 0
That Grasshopper waited all day to do that to you! You know that, right?
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Comments (127)
LEPOfficer 0
Pfft, as if any guy who finds a grasshopper in a urinal wouldn't do the same? I know I would in a heartbeat.
guy_on_the_couch 0
I have to agree with #40. I would have done the same, lol.
Houndourpup 0
This fml is funnyer then the one were the hobo threw a bag of poo and yelled prase the lord
99MDC 0
Maybe it wanted to give you a *******. Mind you, it'd either have to be a mutant grasshopper, or you'd have to have a tiny package. You were scared of a little grasshopper, so you evidentally have miniature marbles. YDI for trying to drown/shower the bastard.
sayheyyybabe 0
Why would you want to pee on a grasshopper? You should have just let it be.
gilly011 0
i love how all us guys totally understand where the op is comin from in respect to peeing on the grasshopper && all the girls are replying "why in the world would you do something so stupid! gawsh! you SOO totally deserve that you prick! gawwwd!"
XxSKELETOxX 0
Poor little grasshopper....
dsjbc1 0
haha karma is a bitch
xSceneSceneBabyx 0
don't **** with insects. they obviously scare you when they jump.
muichini 0
guess he didn't like golden showers too much