By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 724
You deserved it 13 564

Same thing different taste

Top comments

No f the spiders life for being an asswipe! Haha....no.......ok...

I hope it didn't bite you in any intimate areas! D: I've gotten ant bites in bad places from sitting on the sidewalk near grass one time. You can't scratch that anywhere!

Comments

No f the spiders life for being an asswipe! Haha....no.......ok...

Haha.....yes.....okay. Just kidding. No.

Thelnternet 7

and here we can see a common species of a "Thumbs Up *****" where the creature ends their comment with phrases such as "Haha... No... Okay I'll go now..." in an attempt to get good ratings[/s]

61 I read that in David Attenboroughs voice. Bravo.

DKjazz 20

The firetruck is a solitary killer. The ambulances will have to wait their turn.

You shouldn't go into the tall grass alone, wild Pokemon can jump out at you

61- I wasn't trying to be a "thumbs up *****" I didn't think it was that funny and didn't want to offend anybody.

blcksocks 19

You're either having an ****** or just wanted to be the first one to comment

iOceanus 18

Wait, who says, "Oh, dear God!" when they ******?

21- someone who's been reading too much 50 shades of grey

MalloryKnox 8

For a second there I thought 43's comment said "FISTgasm." Yikes.

56 - Thanks for making me clench involuntarily. :/

Perhaps clenching was exactly what OP did....

zingline89 18

Girl: Hey hunny, I'm kinda bored with our sex life. What do you say we spice it up a bit? Guy: *excited* Okay!! What are ya thinkin?!? Girl: Well, Im thinking you strip me naked, tie me face down on the bed... Guy: Yeah!?!?!!!??? Girl: Then shove a spider up my butt Guy: .....wtf....

Yep. Nothing turns me on more than an insect up my arse!

zingline89 18
JJJJJakkkkeee 6

No, Jake. Mayonnaise is not a instrument. Neither is a MacBook. *glares at Skrillex*

This isn't a fetish. How would you even think that?

sarcasm, it must be a new concept to you...

kennaem1 11

No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument!

I hope it didn't bite you in any intimate areas! D: I've gotten ant bites in bad places from sitting on the sidewalk near grass one time. You can't scratch that anywhere!

At least it wasn't an asscricket, eh?

*chirp chirp* Sorry to crush your hopes.

RoBi1475 0

Don't go into the long grass!!!!!!

The wild spider used pants attack! It was super effective! OP fainted!

spiritfang11237 16

Should've brought her pokemon.

trellz17 19
kotana191 8

I think the spider had it worse than you did, OP

Squished to death by ass cheeks... Yeah FHL

I hope it was not a black widow or something.

kman8599 8

If it was, she just reunited in spidey heaven with her departed. Rest in peace good buddy, rest in peace.

And this is why I don't do my business outside.

But... Of course you do... Your a cat... Unless your a house cat! ... Which most are.. Okay. I'm stupid. Bye.

Your best comeback is correcting me... :0 hahah