Animals: Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee... - FML

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 75 505

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 134

You deserved it 47 917

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 705

You deserved it 14 964

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 941

You deserved it 61 814

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 956

You deserved it 54 077

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 973

You deserved it 36 993

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 381

By Wet Britches - 24/11/2016 01:32 - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 674

You deserved it 1 574

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 644

You deserved it 26 645

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 126

You deserved it 73 384

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 723

You deserved it 13 564

Next

Top comments

Tequilamockngbrd 7

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:42

I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.

Luckster 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:49

That Grasshopper waited all day to do that to you! You know that, right?

Comments

jessxoxo28 5

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:45

LMAO!!!!! wow, well thats wat u get for trying to pee on that thing

IceCream53423 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:46

@19 that's cause women don't use urinals :)

killurbeer 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:47

hahahahahahaha!

grrrarrrg2 2

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:16

HAHAHAHHA THAT BLOWS DUDE!

owlowl 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:17

why the **** would you try to pee on a grasshopper?

WearingHats 14

Wednesday 20 October 2010 23:38

Maybe because it's hilarious?

TheLoneWolf87 4

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:23

YOU HAVE DONE WELL, YOUNG GRASSHOPPAH! Probably he went apeshit on you cause u took the urinal he was using. T_T

swimdiva 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:25

haha wow this FML had the funniest comments out of like all of themm... OP, you are retarded, it's probably considered a MAJOR fail to be owned by a grasshopper but its ok cuz we all lovee you :)

HelloMyName 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:42

One word: Karma.

SarcasticAvenger 9

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:46

Karma's a bitch! YDI, dumbass!

IC4M3R0NI 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:59

@10

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Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams Education Parents Kids School Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Gross Customers Work

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You deserved it 76

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The Top

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You deserved it 2 513

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I agree, your life sucks 16 167

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I agree, your life sucks 36 310

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I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 1 306

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I agree, your life sucks 52 768

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I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 10 861