Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.
Luckster 0
That Grasshopper waited all day to do that to you! You know that, right?
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Comments (127)
soBlahBlahaBlah 0
this had to been the funniest Fml ive read, with the best comments. :D if I were a dood, I'd have done if too shoot, I'd do it now if I had the chance! "damned grasshopper hogging the urinal!"
blackchick 0
haa that's what ya get bitch
lxclark 17
I just read one that was EXACTLY the same, but instead of a grasshopper- it was a cockroach o.O
Kingjosh1992 4
that's what you get for peeing on an animal that didn't do anything to you. jackass.
Skimbap 0
Silly hippy, internet is for humans
goddessunleashed 0
Why is it always guys who get bored? I guess if you can aim, you can fire.
holleymoffat 0
wow. why would you take the urinal someone else was using!
meow97 0
Oh god, this, lol! YDI op.
3M0N00D13S 0
hahaha wow
Basiil 0
**** the grasshoppers life, yeah?
n_epic_fail 14
I laughed so hard my sister got scared >.< lmao