By mfischer - United States
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
mfischer tells us more :
I was wearing regular jeans. I do occasionally wear skinny jeans, but nothing like this ever happened.
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Top comments
  newbiehere99  |  6

Man you got some balls to call puns stupid! Are you nuts? Don't be hanging on the puns man.

OP hope you get better. Don't get blue. Hang tight, you'll get better quickie.

  onlychildFTW  |  33

OP must have some low hanging balls. Maybe he should invest in briefs or a jock. Something more supportive. Or better yet, a jock with cup. Prevents sitting on them AND nailing them on something.

  tehcyberman  |  9

Well, I'm wearing skinny jeans, and being a male, I can tell you that there are some pros and cons. Yes, it does get a tad uncomfortable, but girls, think of skinny jeans as like a sports bra for guys junk. They hold it in place and protect or reduce the damage dealt.

  MiGman  |  5

108 that is very true I wear them all the time too but I find the ones made for guys are perfect for keeping the boys in place while still having enough room for it to be comfortable


OP! What a pleasant surprise!

I meant an athletic cup, but that matters not. It was a sign directly from god to shave that HORRENDOUS beard.

I'm kidding, he was telling you not to reproduce.

  mfischer  |  17

God needs to stop sending me signs I don't need then. I had, and still have no plan to reproduce in the immediate or even semi-distant future.
The beard stays though.

  TrueTriage  |  16

The Internet is home to the troll. Those kids or people who lack the confidence or ability to say what's on their mind in person. So they try to start something with someone they don't know then blaming the victim for taking them seriously or just tear them a new virtual ass hole. It's a vicious circle

  ydi_4_suking  |  20

His nuts must be weirdly flopping and positioned because first they hang too low where they get sat on. Then too high up where they are crushed on his lap. And randomly exposed to corners

  Pleonasm  |  34

I was never into the idea of karma, but this series of events has me reconsidering. This can't just coincidence; OP must've done some screwed up stuff to earn this.