Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML
Today, I tried to sweet talk my crush by texting them in Spanish using Google Translate. I wanted to say, “You look amazing today,” but it translated to something like, “Your fish smells weird today.” They responded with a confused emoji and “¿Qué?” FML
Today, I gathered the courage and wrote a love letter to put in the girl I like's school bag, at the end of classes. I felt anxious for a response. Her bag turned out to be her cousin's, and I became a joke in the classroom. FML
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML
Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML
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Top comments
glittercookies 12
He probably meant on his.
DontClickOnMe 28
Aww, someone has a secret admirer. Too bad, they're rude.
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Comments (120)
LookOnBrightSide 12
You can never be too sure with Google Translate. I'd double check that, OP. As for your "admirer," hunt him down and leave no survivors.
reddudeover 2
Why do you assume it's a guy? Ops gender isn't stated, and even if it were, there are lesbians out there you know. Also it could very well be a prank by some mean bitches.
annalily5 28
I think the invitation for the OP to choke on said admirers **** implies they are male. Or it could be some girls play a joke. Or maybe they're a hermaphrodite. However, I'm going to bet on them being male.
deadeyedex 6
Happy V-day :)
Swiftly 0
Haha your profile pic goes with your comment
Dcm210 19
someone is unamerican.
GreenAppleDP 0
It IS okay to know a second language.
yahoowizard 16
Maybe in French, it means that they want you to be their Valentine
Angelice_fml 0
French and German aren't THAT similar. I mean they are, but not so similar that the same exact phrase has a completely different meaning depending on the language.
islander03 5
#51 she said the letter was in German... So what it means in French is irrelevant
Mouton_fml 5
Haha. I speak French. My boyfriend speaks German. They are not similar at all. French is Latin based, German is Germanic based.
xNephilim 19
There are very few similarities between French and German that came from the proximity of the countries. However, those similarities are rare enough to where it doesn't mean anything.
tourtinet_fml 14
"it depens on regions , in somes parts of Alsace , they speak alsatian moreover french , and despite some differences with German , that two language are alike . In the rest of France , the difference are more numerous
cBlackout 13
That's true love.
baybeegirrrl95 5
Ouch
Calyx_fml 22
Probably the author's big fat **** in particular.
perdix 31
You can't expect the author to be truthful and say he hopes you partake of his thin, small wee-wee.
awwwyeah_png 4
Can you post the original text? I'm German and I might could help. :)
boomhauer18 3
Its a note not a text
lysx84 24
Not A text, "original text". As in what was originally written. The word "text" has been around for longer than the concept of mobile phones.
stellarwing 7
And it would be physically impossible to type it into a computer and turn it into text.
CenterOfTheEarth 0
um... type it in notepad and post it here? -.- problem solved
MattRoseen 12
Guys, lay the hell off him. You obviously don't understand the German language at all. At least you understood what he was trying to say. I'm learning German, and switching between two languages is tough as hell. It's a whole different structure. Their verbs are in different positions in their sentences and everything. And plus, they don't have perfect translations for everything. So what sounds dumb to you, is perfectly normal in their translation.
stellarwing 7
53 - We weren't talking to the one offering to translate. There was another comment we were responding to, one that said "it was a note, not a text." But that comment seems to have been deleted.
boomhauer18 3
My bad guys i didn't understand that but i do know i don't why but all my comments are gone
lrgenesis 19
85 can you explain your awesome prof pic?
Mouton_fml 5
Actually, that was clear English.
monagro 22
This is probably Google translate's fault (though the sender probably did suggest something).