Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML
Today, I tried to sweet talk my crush by texting them in Spanish using Google Translate. I wanted to say, “You look amazing today,” but it translated to something like, “Your fish smells weird today.” They responded with a confused emoji and “¿Qué?” FML
Today, I gathered the courage and wrote a love letter to put in the girl I like's school bag, at the end of classes. I felt anxious for a response. Her bag turned out to be her cousin's, and I became a joke in the classroom. FML
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML
Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
glittercookies 12
He probably meant on his.
DontClickOnMe 28
Aww, someone has a secret admirer. Too bad, they're rude.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
perdix 31
At least he didn't call himself a jelly donut. Translation is tricky.
BAbubbleZ 0
Lol Ich bin ein berliner. FAIL jfk
tj4234 36
perhaps it's a misstranslation? Google translate translates word for word rather than from context. In my own language, the word for penis is the same as the word for vote but the context is how you work out the difference.
Michael_92 20
Weird, what language is that?
RedPillSucks 33
Hey. In America, the word for getting ****** is also the same as the word for vote.
tj4234 36
It's Scottish Gaelic. The word for penis/vote/oldman(part of the word) is bod
samikitty961 8
In german the word for dick (Schwanz) also means tail. He might have been telling her to suck a big tail. idk. it's possible.
lrgenesis 19
I'm glad I have a bod in the upcoming erection ;)
lrgenesis 19
Lol election*
xNephilim 19
**** most likely would've translated into Hahn, aka male chicken. I'm not sure how other regions in Germany are, but where I'm from, telling someone to choke on a male chicken isn't some sort of symbol for undying love.
Bremous 2
Google translate never gets it right
kissie87 4
Wow that really sucks . But be careful because sometimes that google translator can be wrong it did it to my friend she wanted to translate from Spanish to English " my cute little dark baby and it said like my little black negroes lol. So be careful lol
speedy420 0
I was just saying hi ^-^ not a creeper promise. byebyes
CoolBreezeKing 8
Hahahaha that's true love
potterag 0
Don't you wish you didn't translate that letter so you could presume that someone secretly liked you. FYL
switchgurl20 17
He prob wanted u to give him a bj for valentines... I don't know where the choke come in. Google translator does be sketchy sometimes. Try it on babelfish/yahoo.
rightsaidred 3
I dunno I think that would be on my list of top 5 ways to die. Right after a massive heart attack while eating a bacon double cheeseburger.
RedPillSucks 33
You want to die choking while giving someone a ********? I could understand dieing from an ****** while receiving a ********....
JRokka850 6
Lmao he got yo ass
iloveweed69 7
oh I love choking on big fat cocks