By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 516
You deserved it 5 792

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Calen5556 0

I'm not sure if "intimate" is the best word choice to describe your relationship with your cat

klimp 0

That is incredibly disturbing. Do you lick that pussy?


Cats are fickle friends. You can rarely rely on them to always be around for you =/

isitinmybedroom 11

1- He's from Kentucky. Get help, OP.

Jaimegirl 7

an intimate relationship with your cat? that sounds disturbing...haha

thinkPlNK 0

this FML reminds me of the crazy woman who posted an e-Harmony blog of her crying because of her strong love for cats.

Ah, I see whats wrong OP, you're jealous that your pussy licks itself, right?

hellbilly205 17

So what your saying is you're cat is just like a girl when shes mad?

That's true #1, With cats you have to earn their affection not like with dogs where they are always there for you.

wtf is with people hatin' on Kentucky???!

#82 I kno right! Their fried chicken is good

ShroomsOnAcid 16

88- Gaaassssspp! You did not just say that about my cit- Oh wait, I hate Chicago too.

29 - oh my goodness, you just made my night! I forgot that video."I just want them in a basket, with little bow ties, and i want them on a rainbow and i just want them in my bed. I want a house full of them so we can just roooll around. So anyways, I like to run....... sorry I'm thinking about cats again. I just want to hug every cat. but I can't. cause that's crazy."

Why do you guys hate Chicago? Its always been one of the top cities of my "travel to" list.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

172- THE FRIGGIN WIND! Although, you're probably the wrong person to complain about cold weather to.

39, I don't think that's what he's saying..

blacksswan 10

Who says every cat is like that? In my opinion cats are probably far more loyal than a dog or maybe the same if raised with love, care and respect. My cat always waits outside the bathroom door for me. Won't budge no matter how long I take. She never bothers me when I am asleep, will actually sleep next to me and stay there no matter for how long I am in my bed. Stays besides me when I am sick or upset. Actually comes on command. Etc But then Who knows she might secretly be a dog in a cat's costume o____o; But OP it's a litter disturbing using the word "intimate" to describe your relationship with your feline. Couldn't you use something else?

198, I just meant that cats are different from most pets because they have really diverse personalities... and most of mine have been sort of moody. They come and go as they please, and follow no rules.

That cat better watch out for her pussy.

blacksswan 10

You must have done something wrong while raising them or their previous owners did. Cause they make a wonderful life campanion like dogs do.

kaylamahoney90 12

Having a cat is better than nothing at all.

@29 "So anyway, I am a cat lover and I love to run, I'm sorry I'm thinking about cats again".

Calen5556 0

I'm not sure if "intimate" is the best word choice to describe your relationship with your cat

Would it be incest since there "technically" family???

Namerkp2 8

No... It'd be *********** because it's with a cat.

agm77 9

Hey #69 They're. As in "they are grammar nazis" On a side note I love your profile picture, lol I'm so Mc-hating it though lol

youngbuck10 9

Number 2 had the correct spelling. It is your not you're. Your is possessive.

77 - We weren't talking about "your"/"you're." How'd you confuse those with "there"/"their"/"they're"?

iDont_fml 0

Look on the bright side...atleast your still getting some pussy. Lol

Hey everyone, I know this may sound slutty, but I want you all to use me all the time. I'm just dying to be with you. -Grammar

Shit, people have already corrected all the obvious stuff. Oh, wait! It's "**********" not "***********". *pats self on back*

wuzzup969 2

I was thinking the same thing!

It's called you guys are stupid! He said the CLOSEST thing to an intimate relationship. Not he's in an intimate relationship with his cat. Done ranting. Now I'll get thumbed down. I know the future. :)

*sigh. It's people like you ^ that ruin good comments. Just read them, laugh, and move on.

Yea really. 15 year olds are only good for one thing: getting pregnant!

You know they were talking about number 16 right?

I so sorry I caused all this commotion, please forgive everyone for my terrible grammar. *yes I did mean to leave out "I'm" to all you grammar nazis... I actually do give a flying crap about the the difference between there and they're. All I know is I was smart enough to work at NASA. Suck on that grammar nazis...

And yes nazis, I meant to leave out me. -_-

You worked for NASA? Was that before or after the molestation conviction that got you fired from the janitorial team?

klimp 0

That is incredibly disturbing. Do you lick that pussy?

The pussy licks itself really.... now that sounded wrong.

I believe this is called ********** not pussy licking.

I once shoved a cats tail onto its pussy...

AlaskanEskimo34 0

85- Why...? How bored to you have to be to think of something like that, and then to actually do it

I was 4 years old and loved experimenting...

AhhBrenid 8
CaptainPickles72 18

#144- There is no such thing as too much cleavage!

You should try to make the most out of everything...

Wtf?!? He should try to get a female that is his same species.

What?? Being gay isn't something you take a stab at. You don't just decide to try it. It's something you don't really have control over, it's how you feel. This made me laugh a little bit...

Acousticpixie14 6

I'm pretty sure he was joking....?

Of course you can take a stab at being gay. Granted, you can only stab and penetrate predesignated orifices, the result may indeed be quite satisfactory.

You probably said this cause your gay and you want a butt buddy

You got thumbed down just for your ridiculous profile.

icefshng8 9

25: you have no reason to shoot number 8 down. People that thumbed you up are morons, IMHO. ALOT of people, especially younger people, are unsure of their sexuality, when they have never been in an intimate relationship. You discover yourself by experimenting and trying new things. So, OP, sure, why not? Take a shot at being gay.

Acousticpixie14 6

Who's? Everyone on this thread looks like they have a decent profile.

icefshng8 9

122: she was referring to you I believe.... No need to state that your perverted, and then shoot down all the perverted guys stalking your profile by being married... Jeez.

I wasn't lashing out at people who are unsure of their sexuality. I was saying that you don't "take a stab" at an entirely different lifestyle, just because your closest relationship is with your cat. Please try to understand what I'm actually saying before griping at me, I don't enjoy grouches.

icefshng8 9

Well, the two sentences following your statement argued an entirely different point then? It was unclear. While I understand both implications are possible, you can't blame me for taking it the wrong way. I do, however still think you can take a stab at a new lifestyle. You can just decide to try something new. You're right, OP is probably not going to become gay, but it is a valid suggestion, and you still had no reason shoot down 8

Everybody has the choice of being gay or not being gay. Please stop with that

MustangGirl72 9

You gotta get out more. There has to be some girls who will be interested, right? Bad choice of words too.

Hahaha why dont you give him a shot? Maybe u will like him and his cat

MustangGirl72 9

I guess I'm not one of those girls. I don't do *********** lol.

Maybe thats why he cant find a girlfriend

Your a genius. He gets rid of the cat he finds a girlfriend. You should be on a tv show. Hahahaha

9 - this is off topic, but where did you get your glasses ? (: i want a pair but don't know where to look.

MustangGirl72 9

They were a gift so I have no idea.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Allow me to translate 90's reply: "Walmart"

MustangGirl72 9

^ That would be my first guess.

maidofawesome 0

Well get out there and find a human female!!

bargarlm 2

And how close, exactly, are you and your cat....?

I don't understand why OPs will not reply in any FML. Can somebody bother to explain.

A somewhat intimate relationship with your cat? No, no..... That's perfectly... Normal...