Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML
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By
Calen5556
| 0
I'm not sure if "intimate" is the best word choice to describe your relationship with your cat
By
klimp
| 0
That is incredibly disturbing. Do you lick that pussy?
COMMENTS
By
OhHushDear
| 11
Cats are fickle friends. You can rarely rely on them to always be around for you =/
Reply
isitinmybedroom
| 11
Find a new cat
Reply
Shrike
| 22
1- He's from Kentucky. Get help, OP.
Reply
Jaimegirl
| 7
an intimate relationship with your cat? that sounds disturbing...haha
Reply
thinkPlNK
| 0
this FML reminds me of the crazy woman who posted an e-Harmony blog of her crying because of her strong love for cats.
Reply
The_Weirdo
| 10
Ah, I see whats wrong OP, you're jealous that your pussy licks itself, right?
Reply
herrobear
| 0
That's naaaasty.
Reply
hellbilly205
| 17
So what your saying is you're cat is just like a girl when shes mad?
Reply
soccerguy2
| 11
Bitches be bitches
Reply
McDonaldsworker
| 4
That's true #1,
With cats you have to earn their affection not like with dogs where they are always there for you.
With cats you have to earn their affection not like with dogs where they are always there for you.
Reply
LimeSharpie
| 6
wtf is with people hatin' on Kentucky???!
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kooochris1995
| 14
#82 I kno right! Their fried chicken is good
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landry5247
| 0
Weird..
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
88- Gaaassssspp! You did not just say that about my cit- Oh wait, I hate Chicago too.
Reply
Roevera
| 14
29 - oh my goodness, you just made my night! I forgot that video."I just want them in a basket, with little bow ties, and i want them on a rainbow and i just want them in my bed. I want a house full of them so we can just roooll around. So anyways, I like to run....... sorry I'm thinking about cats again. I just want to hug every cat. but I can't. cause that's crazy."
Reply
alaskababy907
| 11
Why do you guys hate Chicago? Its always been one of the top cities of my "travel to" list.
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
172- THE FRIGGIN WIND! Although, you're probably the wrong person to complain about cold weather to.
Reply
Ozone1232
| 5
Get on it!
Reply
absolutegrrr
| 7
39, I don't think that's what he's saying..
Reply
blacksswan
| 10
Who says every cat is like that? In my opinion cats are probably far more loyal than a dog or maybe the same if raised with love, care and respect.
My cat always waits outside the bathroom door for me. Won't budge no matter how long I take.
She never bothers me when I am asleep, will actually sleep next to me and stay there no matter for how long I am in my bed.
Stays besides me when I am sick or upset.
Actually comes on command.
Etc
But then Who knows she might secretly be a dog in a cat's costume o____o;
But OP it's a litter disturbing using the word "intimate" to describe your relationship with your feline. Couldn't you use something else?
My cat always waits outside the bathroom door for me. Won't budge no matter how long I take.
She never bothers me when I am asleep, will actually sleep next to me and stay there no matter for how long I am in my bed.
Stays besides me when I am sick or upset.
Actually comes on command.
Etc
But then Who knows she might secretly be a dog in a cat's costume o____o;
But OP it's a litter disturbing using the word "intimate" to describe your relationship with your feline. Couldn't you use something else?
Reply
OhHushDear
| 11
198, I just meant that cats are different from most pets because they have really diverse personalities... and most of mine have been sort of moody. They come and go as they please, and follow no rules.
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Slimshots
| 8
That cat better watch out for her pussy.
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blacksswan
| 10
You must have done something wrong while raising them or their previous owners did. Cause they make a wonderful life campanion like dogs do.
Reply
kaylamahoney90
| 12
Having a cat is better than nothing at all.
Reply
DingoCJ
| 15
Dogs have masters, cats have slaves
Reply
Sora_McKain
| 36
@29 "So anyway, I am a cat lover and I love to run, I'm sorry I'm thinking about cats again".
By
Calen5556
| 0
I'm not sure if "intimate" is the best word choice to describe your relationship with your cat
Reply
tellithowitis
| 13
Would it be incest since there "technically" family???
Reply
Namerkp2
| 8
No... It'd be beastiality because it's with a cat.
Reply
agm77
| 9
^ They're. As in "they are"
Reply
McDonaldsworker
| 4
Hey #69
They're. As in "they are grammar nazis"
On a side note I love your profile picture, lol I'm so Mc-hating it though lol
They're. As in "they are grammar nazis"
On a side note I love your profile picture, lol I'm so Mc-hating it though lol
Reply
youngbuck10
| 9
Number 2 had the correct spelling. It is your not you're. Your is possessive.
Reply
ZeDolphinator
| 7
77 - We weren't talking about "your"/"you're." How'd you confuse those with "there"/"their"/"they're"?
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MrSassypants
| 32
Quick 77! Blame it on auto-correct!
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iDont_fml
| 0
Look on the bright side...atleast your still getting some pussy. Lol
Reply
236schertzi
| 1
Loving the beats bro.
Reply
freakinglaugher
| 10
Hey everyone, I know this may sound slutty, but I want you all to use me all the time. I'm just dying to be with you.
-Grammar
-Grammar
Reply
ClassyCommando
| 13
Shit, people have already corrected all the obvious stuff. Oh, wait! It's "bestiality" not "beastiality".
*pats self on back*
*pats self on back*
Reply
wuzzup969
| 2
I was thinking the same thing!
Reply
I_Punch_Babies
| 7
Its called "interspecies erotica" fucko!
Reply
kelissa_fml
| 16
It's called you guys are stupid! He said the CLOSEST thing to an intimate relationship. Not he's in an intimate relationship with his cat. Done ranting. Now I'll get thumbed down. I know the future. :)
Reply
lalatookasheema
| 8
*sigh. It's people like you ^ that ruin good comments. Just read them, laugh, and move on.
Reply
I_Punch_Babies
| 7
Yea really. 15 year olds are only good for one thing: getting pregnant!
Reply
imepelepticsir
| 5
Pussy is pussy, That being said...
Reply
I_Punch_Babies
| 7
Id hit that
Reply
elliottemoose
| 1
You know they were talking about number 16 right?
Reply
analoveshotcoco
| 0
Lol
Reply
tellithowitis
| 13
I so sorry I caused all this commotion, please forgive everyone for my terrible grammar.
*yes I did mean to leave out "I'm" to all you grammar nazis...
I actually do give a flying crap about the the difference between there and they're.
All I know is I was smart enough to work at NASA. Suck on that grammar nazis...
*yes I did mean to leave out "I'm" to all you grammar nazis...
I actually do give a flying crap about the the difference between there and they're.
All I know is I was smart enough to work at NASA. Suck on that grammar nazis...
Reply
tellithowitis
| 13
And yes nazis, I meant to leave out me. -_-
Reply
Shrike
| 22
You worked for NASA? Was that before or after the molestation conviction that got you fired from the janitorial team?
Reply
tellithowitis
| 13
Don't be hating.
By
klimp
| 0
That is incredibly disturbing. Do you lick that pussy?
Reply
TheFirstSamurai
| 18
The pussy licks itself really.... now that sounded wrong.
Reply
datoismyname
| 22
I believe this is called bestiality not pussy licking.
Reply
LoonyKev
| 0
I once shoved a cats tail onto its pussy...
Reply
Swiftly
| 0
^^^WTF?
Reply
LoonyKev
| 0
into
Reply
OhHushDear
| 11
85, that's pretty damn gross.
Reply
AlaskanEskimo34
| 0
85- Why...? How bored to you have to be to think of something like that, and then to actually do it
Reply
AlaskanEskimo34
| 0
*do
Reply
LoonyKev
| 0
I was 4 years old and loved experimenting...
Reply
AhhBrenid
| 8
^^Too much experimenting...
Reply
taco_bender
| 12
Hahahaha
Reply
I_Punch_Babies
| 7
more like not enough cleavage!
Reply
CaptainPickles72
| 18
#144- There is no such thing as too much cleavage!
By
superpoptart
| 24
You should try to make the most out of everything...
Reply
taco_bender
| 12
Wtf?!? He should try to get a female that is his same species.
By
truehitman2010
| 0
beastality?
Reply
EatnBeef
| 7
Have you ever heard the saying cats are a mans bestfriend? Me either.
Reply
amanda_d95
| 9
The fuck are you doing with your cat?
Reply
AssassinsCRB
| 0
G
By
Anubyte
| 0
Take a stab at being gay?
Reply
OhHushDear
| 11
What?? Being gay isn't something you take a stab at. You don't just decide to try it. It's something you don't really have control over, it's how you feel. This made me laugh a little bit...
Reply
Acousticpixie14
| 6
I'm pretty sure he was joking....?
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
Of course you can take a stab at being gay. Granted, you can only stab and penetrate predesignated orifices, the result may indeed be quite satisfactory.
Reply
patzz12
| 0
You probably said this cause your gay and you want a butt buddy
Reply
MommaMuff
| 6
You got thumbed down just for your ridiculous profile.
Reply
icefshng8
| 9
25: you have no reason to shoot number 8 down. People that thumbed you up are morons, IMHO. ALOT of people, especially younger people, are unsure of their sexuality, when they have never been in an intimate relationship. You discover yourself by experimenting and trying new things. So, OP, sure, why not? Take a shot at being gay.
Reply
Acousticpixie14
| 6
Who's?
Everyone on this thread looks like they have a decent profile.
Everyone on this thread looks like they have a decent profile.
Reply
icefshng8
| 9
122: she was referring to you I believe.... No need to state that your perverted, and then shoot down all the perverted guys stalking your profile by being married... Jeez.
Reply
OhHushDear
| 11
I wasn't lashing out at people who are unsure of their sexuality. I was saying that you don't "take a stab" at an entirely different lifestyle, just because your closest relationship is with your cat. Please try to understand what I'm actually saying before griping at me, I don't enjoy grouches.
Reply
icefshng8
| 9
Well, the two sentences following your statement argued an entirely different point then? It was unclear. While I understand both implications are possible, you can't blame me for taking it the wrong way. I do, however still think you can take a stab at a new lifestyle. You can just decide to try something new. You're right, OP is probably not going to become gay, but it is a valid suggestion, and you still had no reason shoot down 8
Reply
biggestfan23
| 11
Everybody has the choice of being gay or not being gay. Please stop with that
By
MustangGirl72
| 9
You gotta get out more. There has to be some girls who will be interested, right? Bad choice of words too.
Reply
taco_bender
| 12
Hahaha why dont you give him a shot? Maybe u will like him and his cat
Reply
MustangGirl72
| 9
I guess I'm not one of those girls. I don't do beastiality lol.
Reply
taco_bender
| 12
Maybe thats why he cant find a girlfriend
Reply
taco_bender
| 12
Your a genius. He gets rid of the cat he finds a girlfriend. You should be on a tv show. Hahahaha
Reply
chelseaaababyyy
| 17
9 - this is off topic, but where did you get your glasses ? (: i want a pair but don't know where to look.
Reply
MustangGirl72
| 9
They were a gift so I have no idea.
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
Allow me to translate 90's reply: "Walmart"
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ninjaboy18
| 6
MustangGirl, you are so pretty :)
Reply
MustangGirl72
| 9
^ That would be my first guess.
By
maidofawesome
| 0
Well get out there and find a human female!!
By
bargarlm
| 2
And how close, exactly, are you and your cat....?
Reply
piccalo
| 4
I don't understand why OPs will not reply in any FML. Can somebody bother to explain.
Reply
japtch
| 15
163 - Nope.
By
FirstTigerHobbes
| 13
A somewhat intimate relationship with your cat?
No, no..... That's perfectly... Normal...
No, no..... That's perfectly... Normal...