By wearingashirtatthepool - United States - East Brunswick
Today, I spent thirty minutes on the phone with my best friend's mom, because her daughter was too afraid to tell me that I'm no longer a bridesmaid at her wedding because I'm too fat. FML
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  flyingflies  |  36

Maybe because being that fat isn't healthy? I know it already, I'll get downvoted because we have to accept fat people and love all body types, because beauty is inside. TRUE. But we shouldn't accept and tolerate unhealthy behaviours. A certain number of people are fat because of medical issues, and I have no problem with that. But most are at fault for not taking care of themselves. I don't like slim people and hate the fat ones. There are thin people who are as unhealthy as the obese ones.

  PhoenixChick  |  26

I find your position confusing. So you don't hate fat people, think it's fair to kick your best friend out of the wedding for being fat?

It really isn't up to you to "tolerate" unhealthy behaviors. Especially since you don't know what a strangers behavior is, fat or thin. Would you kick someone out of a wedding for sleeping around? That can lead to health issues, STDs etc. Are smokers allowed? Alcoholics?

  Sonjuro  |  7

@18, who said OP is fat? She could be healthy or maybe borderline overweight (not obese) and just has a shallow, underweight friend. My main issue here is that I doubt OP has gained THAT much weight recently, so if she's too fat now, why was she asked in the first place?

  mfmylifesrsly  |  29

@18 as someone who is overweight, I find your comment ignorant as fuck. It's perfectly fine to not approve of an overweight persons lifestyle, but the fact that OPs "best friend" doesn't want her in the wedding because she's supposedly fat, means the bride only cares about looks. That's not a YDI. Plus we don't know if OP is overweight for a medical condition, or she could not even be fat but the bride is just a shallow bitch. My ex boyfriend thought I was fat because all of his past girlfriends were about a size 0 when I was a size 7 (at the time) which is perfectly healthy.
Plus even if OP is fat, it's HER life and if that makes her happy and feel beautiful, so be it.

  takeittoem  |  8

In reply to Alan: No, it's almost like there will ALWAYS be noise on an internet forum of any kind, and the stories that don't "need" a YDI-button will always be identified by the overwhelming ratio of "your life sucks" responses to "YDI" responses. Here's a question: if there is essentially only one option (voting "your life sucks" or "your life sucks"), does that sentiment really have as much meaning as if readers have a choice?


I'll take this even further than the other comments did, can I exclude people with mental and/or physical disabilities from my wedding? I wouldn't want anyone to think that having depression or sitting in a wheelchair is healthy or anything. Let's face it, she's not worried about anyone thinking OP's healthy, she's afraid OP will 'ruin' her wedding pictures. She's a shallow bitch, not a brave warrior fighting against the health hazards of modern society.

  Redgy22  |  26

If you even bothered to read the post, nothing was said about OP's health. Merely that her "friend" thought she was too fat to be in the wedding. You just took the opportunity to fat shame/ thin shame basically anyone you didn't deem the appropriate size. You don't know the situation. Some people think a size 8 is huge while others think it's small/ave. I think your may be projecting your own feelings of inadequacies onto to others & being judgmental in order to feel a false sense of superiority. (& yes, I do have a degree in psychology)

  flyingflies  |  36

Hello there! I want to reply to all the people who downvoted my earlier comment and who took it way too far in putting words in my mouth.
First of all, I think that OP's friend is a shallow person. If they are best friends, she shouldn't care about the way OP will look in the wedding photos. Nowhere did I say that the best friend in question did the right thing. And no, I don't think that people who suffer from depression or people who like to have casual sex or are disabled should be excluded from the wedding of their best friend of any wedding at all.
My previous comment was in answer to an inquiry about why people think this merits a YDI, I stand by my opinion and I'll state it in full, so people won't misunderstand this time: I think that some of the people who clicked on YDI did so because being overweight/obese is not healthy and is a condition that can be changed by leading a healthy lifestyle.
To the person who has a degree in psychology: I did not fat or slim shame anyone. To my knowledge, fat and slim shaming someone means thinking little of overweight/obese/underweight/slim/whatever body type they don't like people and not taking into account their talents, intelligence, opinions and ideas because of their appearance. Also, I dearly hope that somewhere in your schooling you were taught that profiling someone when knowing little next to nothing about them is really bad practice and causes prejudices from the very beginning.
I think that we, as a society, shouldn't tolerate unhealthy behaviors. The benefits and the ways one can eat healthily and engage in sports and other actions that benefit their well being should be encouraged in the media and taught in schools.


Why do you care what others do with their lives? Lots of people do drugs, smoke, and drink way too much, all of which are terrible for your health. You don't have to tolerate the behavior, but just because you think you're so great for being healthy doesn't make you a better person. I'd rather be around nice fat people than smug assholes.

By  vmm  |  11

Maybe it was not your best friend's opinion to keep you out of the wedding. She asked you to be in it, so she did want you. It sounds more like it was her overbearing mother who decided it and then called you.

My husband had a situation where his best friend's dad told him he wasn't allowed to come for hunting season. They had a couple big bucks seen on their hunting ground and they didn't want extra people because they were pretty competitive about it. The best friend refused to tell my husband not to come because it was so petty. My husband doesn't hunt anymore but still has his best friend.