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ShitFaced United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

178

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Idonebeenhad 17

Had sex, doesn't matter

guitarbeast 22

Doesn't matter, had sex

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Comments (178)

ifoundalaska 11

That's kind of pathetic :-( you can do better than that.

vengeance501 8

Evidently not.

perdix 31

That probably is more common than you think. Just as long as you earn enough to buy cheap beer and Prohibition doesn't come back, you should be able to enjoy drunk pussy for years to come. How do you think ugly people procreate?

silentbutfunny 0

Donating sperm

perdix 31

Nah, sperm banks don't accept ugly people's sperm. Yes, they let the guys go through the motions ;) to donate, but toss their tossing as soon as they leave the building. Closing down bars and having mutually drunken sex is what keeps the human race going.

silentbutfunny 0

They pay good money though, you think they would throw it away?

ProhibitionRose 14

Did I hear my name?!... No? :( ok... *goes back into the corner*

maronofhearts 19

You forgot about being rich perdix

atomicbaboon 0

i heard double bagging is a new solutions

br0ccoli 15

In the dark?

RyNo24 4

Even your hand was always drunk?

SecretMe00 5

Ok I love your comment! And my answer would have to be yes! Her/him hand is attached to him/her drunken body..... So yes is my answer!!!

BTheIRules 1

Hey get a girlfriend/boyfriend then you don't have to have sex with a drunk person. :)

Xcherrypie 16

Not always a guarantee.

silentbutfunny 0

And with all the money spent on dates, gifts, emotional stress of the ups and downs of the relationship, birth control...... Might as well settle for a hooker

Awsumuzzie 12

That's easy! I'm stepping outside my house to get me one of those boyfriends and I'm set!

Leftoverjello 6

16- That sounds awesome! Where do you get them? Seriously though. Some people just aren't meant for relationships. OP sounds like one of those people.

TheDrifter 24

34, remember to bring rope and snacks. Just like a new puppy, it's easier to get the leash on after he's eaten. Once it's on just walk him home, give him a little affection and he's yours.

MeLuvBewbs 7

Sex is like food. We don't care how its done, we enjoy it.

Fmeonce_shameonu 15

You've obviously never had amazing sexy time.

unluckiestperson_fml 14

Sounds like a motto a rapist would have to be honest

spazz666 18

I hate food.

wlddog 14

Either you did not read post #9, or you copy pasted it. Either case, thumbs down.

cinderella10383 6

119 same poster from 9 to here I guess he wanted to post on 2 pages. Dummy didn't consider those of us who read each comment and then would realize with Nasty ass Snooki that it's the same person!

Xcherrypie 16

Alcohol- more effective than Rohypnol.

TheDrifter 24

I wouldn't go that far, but at least liquor they will generally take willingly.

MetalxSoldier 26

I'll be sure to be sober around you!

Rhysbob 0

Is there any other way?

OffMySack 2

Like they said, "doesn't matter had sex." You gotta do what you gotta do to get the poon...or dong if you're a girl...except rape...thats weird...especially if you're a girl.

The_Troller 14

And very difficult, I would assume.

rldostie 19

Except having sex with someone too drunk to give consent (especially if the OP was sober) IS considered rape in most US states. So yeah. Not exactly great to get the "poon" however you can, especially when it might land you in jail.

TheDrifter 24

How does it work in the usa if both him and her are drunk? Up here they treat it as if both were sober; it's rape only if one of them says so when they sober up.