Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Rollercoaster ride
Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
I was the bullet in the relationship
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Spontaneous
Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it, and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML
Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML
Top comments
Idonebeenhad 17
Had sex, doesn't matter
guitarbeast 22
Doesn't matter, had sex
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Comments (178)
skyeyez9 25
Does the "booze breath" turn you on or something? Seruously, stop the drunk sex. You are more likely to hook up with a person you would never have if sober.
ImSoEffedUp 10
Wow, that's really gotta bring down the ol' self-esteem huh.... U may need to get u a significant other....
Soliz27 2
Whatever it takes!
maxwells_hammer 5
What makes you think you're satisfying those women if you can't even remember it?
Soliz27 2
As long as its the opposite sex, your going to be alright.
CaptainBlack 18
If you're drunk you CANNOT legally give consent. So, umm.... think about that.
76transam 0
Hell i dont think ive ever been sober during sex haha
spazz666 18
Lol, yeah only because they probably weren't on a date. Moron
Rasetsu 10
IF A GIRL IS DRUNK WHEN SAYING YES, THAT IS NOT LEGAL CONSENT. Technically, according to law, you're a rapist.
MarrTom 2
I'm the other way around I haven't had sex with someone unless I'm drunk lol